From the Bottom of My Heart
by marrymemilo
Summary: Jess&Rory, LL, some chapters during Yale, some chapters during Season 3. Some spoilers. What could've been. Which is why he had her. She held that single shred of overbearing conviction. And he loved it.
1. Possession is Nine Tenths of the Law

Takes place during Rory's first year at Yale. This is an ideal, the past is coming in the coming installments (i.e., this is in the future to most of the story). Rory and Jess are together (duh).

Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law

She leaned over the textbook, hunched over on her small, dorm-suite bed. She absent-mindedly chewed the end of the highlighter, going through a paper and highlighting facts for revision.

"I really cannot seem to comprehend why you insist upon making constant remarks under your breath," Paris said, quite loudly from the common room. Rory looked up from the work, closing her eyes for a moment as another rift in the peace of her studies formed as Paris criticized Tanna.

Tanna mumbled something incoherently. Rory suppressed a laugh.

"The incessant mumbling really must end," Paris said frantically. "It bores me to tears how you seem to think that I will stand for this behavior. I am a 4.0 student; your distractions harm the reputation of this establishment."

"Paris!" Rory called from the room. The door was cracked open and she heard the quite chattering argument halt for a moment. "Do you really have nothing better to do?"

"What would make you think that?" she asked, opening the door fully.

"You just yelled at Tanna for mumbling."

"Have you heard it? It's like she in another room."

"Hey Jamie!" Rory joked, looking distractedly over Paris' shoulder as she rose, ready to close the door. Paris turned at the mention of her boyfriend just as Rory slammed and locked the door.

"You will pay Gilmore."

Rory smiled, accomplished and returned to her studies as her cell phone rang on the bedside table.

"Hello?" she asked, not expecting a call at 8:30 in the evening.

"Daughter! Offspring! One whose name I call my own!" Lorelai exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Hi mom," Rory returned calmly.

"How's school?" she asked maliciously.

Rory sighed openly. "What?" she asked.

"Mean!" Lorelai retorted mockingly.

"Mom," Rory whined.

"So, Gilmore dinner tomorrow…"

"And?" Rory said, capping the highlighter and dropping in on the bedside table.

"I think mom said we're having lamb," she said.

"Forget it," Rory said obstinately.

"Forget what?" Lorelai said cluelessly.

"I am not bringing him over as bait. Luke is a big boy. He can handle grandma and grandpa," Rory said, matter of fact.

"But it's so much more fun to watch him squirm and get all fidgety when my mother talks," Lorelai said, whining.

Rory was indignant. "This is my boyfriend that you're talking about. My very sweet, very cute, very loving, very, very, very short tempered boyfriend. My very precious, one-in-a-million boyfriend, and you want me to dangle him in front of Emily Gilmore like he's the last sausage at Oktoberfest and she's two-thousand German people."

"Not _the_ last, Luke will be there," Lorelai said, ignoring most of the pleading.

"Do you really think that upsetting Jess is going to help at all with his school stuff?" Rory said, laying the blame on thick to Lorelai's shiny mood.

"If he can't handle Emily and Richard Gilmore for one night, what makes him think that he can make it through freshman year at Yale?" Lorelai wondered.

"Because he hasn't been conditioned as I have to dodge their criticism."

"Neither has Luke!" Lorelai said, frantic now.

"Luke is dating you," Rory pointed out. "I'm sure by now he's developed some

skill to not only dodge your pointed remarks, but possibly respond."

"Not a chance," Lorelai said smugly.

The silence fell and Rory could hear Lorelai open her mouth to ask again.

"No. Absolutely not."

"The cruelty!" Lorelai said.

"Bye mom," Rory responded.

"My own daughter," Lorelai said, shaking her head. Rory closed the phone and stared at it for a moment.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt the riveting stare-contest," Paris said, looking down at Rory.

"Paris, how did you get in here?"

"It is my room that you wrongfully barricaded yourself in," she pointed out.

"There was nothing wrongful about locking the door to _our_ room," Rory said as she stood and pulled her pair of Adidas on. She stood and Paris eyed her suspiciously.

"Where are you going?" she asked, arms crossed.

"Paris, I am 19 years old, if I feel like leaving my dorm room after dark, I'm pretty sure nobody would have anything to say about it," Rory said, turning with her hands stuffed in the front pocket of her sweatshirt.

"Fine, go canoodle with the delinquent," Paris said after Rory as she walked out of the door to their room.

"Hi Rory," Tanna said flatly as she hemmed a modest, knee length blue skirt.

"Hey Tanna," she said as she rifled around on the coffee table for her car keys.

Tanna looked up for a second and squinted at her. "Are you going out?"

"Yeah, I'm just looking for my keys, did you see them?"

"Paris installed a coat rack for some reason. They're hanging from one of the key hooks."

"Thanks, see you later," Rory said as she walked out the door. The hallway was buzzing faintly with the prospect of weekend socialization, a far cry from the party that ripped through the dormitory the night before. It was October now, the leaves had all fallen from the trees in New Haven and there was a perpetual bog-like quality to the ground.

Rory stuffed her hands in the front pocket of her Yale sweatshirt and quickened her gait to her car, across the park and into the student parking lot. The darkness and casual coolness of Halloween season alerted her senses and made her feel more awake than she had all day.

She reached the small, silver car and looked across the lot. It was only a quarter

of a mile to Jess's dorm, so she dropped the keys back into her pocket and changed her

direction, smiling acutely to herself.

Jess sat on his bed, reading Pablo Neruda, taking a much needed break in studying. He had picked up an extra class to accommodate his late registration and had since been locked in his single room, writing paper after paper.

Rory hadn't been by yet today, making him a little uneasy. She often found it hard to go a few hours without interrupting his studies, but he wasn't annoyed. Probably her unwavering focus rubbed off on him a little when she left, but when she was there he was lucky if he remembered his own name.

He returned to the book, drinking in his words, applying them to himself. He took his pencil from behind his ear to mark a note in the margin when he heard the door open.

"Hey," she said, smiling as she set her keys on his desk and crawled across the bed to kiss him.

"Hi," he said, finishing the note and kissing her back. He stuffed the pencil back behind his ear and put the book on the floor offhandedly.

"So, tomorrow is Friday," she mentioned, trying to sound casual.

"That's the way the week goes," he said, looking at her, ignoring her bait.

"And we both know that on Friday's I'm forced to commute to Hartford for dinner with my grandparents. Which really isn't fair. I did, after all, pick Yale over Harvard, they should be more than happy to pay for my education," she rambled.

"Rory-," Jess said, cutting off her rambling. She looked at him, apologetic. "I told you already that I'll go," he said, settling a protective hand on her hip. "But I have conditions."

"Luke's coming too," she added, snuggling unnoticeably closer.

Jess nodded in response. He studied her slim figure, looking slim even underneath his oversized sweatshirt that she had stolen earlier in the week. Her blue eyes twinkled as her plan to wrangle him into the car tomorrow afternoon unfolded beautifully in front of her.

"I was thinking," she said, interrupting his musings, "if my mom and Luke ever got married, we'd be legal cousins."

Jess's hand fell from her hip and he gave her a look of complete mock-horror.

"Wow," he said, staring off into space, playing his character very well. "I didn't ever think I'd know what it felt like to be from Kentucky. I'll be sure to thank Luke and Lorelai for that tomorrow," Jess said, in shock.

"Icky!" Rory exclaimed, smiling at him with her nose crinkled. "But, there's no direct blood relation," she said, trying to justify the thoughts she was having about what was beneath Jess's grey sweater and jeans.

"I'd actually rather just not dwell on Luke and Lorelai together," Jess said, smiling slightly.

"Ewww," Rory said. "I think we should probably pretend the last minute never happened," she gestured to indicate wiping the air clean.

"What minute? You just got here," he said, playing along fantastically.

She smiled brilliantly, her liquid blue eyes shining. "How was your day?"

He sighed. "School. I finished my essays for the evening about twenty minutes ago," he said, gesturing with his head in the direction of his desk. On it sat his textbooks, a pile of notebooks, and a computer that he bought with the money he had saved up the summer before. She grinned at his efforts.

He watched her eying his desk with a sort of motherly pride while she scooted closer to him. The little movements that her body made as she wriggled across the bed promptly chased any word pertaining to anyone's mother out of his head. She took a moment to let him lace their legs together and she laid her head back on his pillow.

"How was your day?" he asked her, gazing down at her, his eyes pools of fluid chocolate behind his curtain of eyelashes.

"Long-ish," she said, raising an arm to put behind her head. "Paris and Tanna argued about mumbling, my mother begged me into making you come for bait tomorrow night, and my new Clash CD has a huge, Grand Canyon sized, crater-scratch in it," she pouted.

"Aw, poor thing," he said as he finally closed the last inch of space between them. Her breath flew out of her chest swiftly, feeling his body clearly beyond his thin, ribbed sweater. His belt buckle felt cold and steely against the band of bare skin that had formed between the top of her jeans and the bottom of the sweatshirt. His sweatshirt.

"Please, have pity upon my soul," she joked as he kissed her neck, breathing in her aphrodisiac perfume.

"I don't know," he said jokingly. "You did steal my sweatshirt. That's a federal offense, darlin'," he said, sliding his hands underneath it. She smiled and knit her eyebrows together, finally her face falling in a pleading pout.

"But isn't possession nine tenths of the law? And I only wore it because you hid my shirt," she argued.

Jess rolled his eyes. "Two weeks ago," he said, pressing her closer. "Time to give it up."

"Ooh ooh!" she cried. "Double entendre!"

Jess scoffed teasingly. "You're turning into your mother."

"Thank you," she said, grinning broadly.

"Just so you know, your mom doesn't do much for me," Jess said, pausing before he moved the positioning of his hands. Rory let the grin fall from her face and replaced it with her own brand of smirk.

"Rory again," she said, finally sliding her hands up the back of his sweater, fingering his muscles and the ribs that were pronounced even in his back.

"Good to know," he said, sliding his hands down her legs and up to her waist. Rory sighed dreamily and buried her head in his chest. She could get lost in these moments forever.


	2. Pop Tarts and the Diner Jesus

This chapter starts right after "They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They?". Some Season 3 spoilers.

Pop-Tarts and the Diner Jesus

Two years prior…

_"What was that?" Luke asked._

_ "You just saw Episode One of 'Rory and Jess: The Early Years'," Lorelai replied, standing against the counter._

_ "What're you talking about?"_

_ "Rory and Jess are…together now."_

_ "Wow."_

Paris guffawed. "You and the heathen? Not possible. What happened to the Jolly Green Smock Giant?" she asked as they hurried across the courtyard to the bus stop. Rory's breath caught in her chest as she struggled to keep up with Paris's power-walk off campus.

"Dean and I-," she started, trying to find the words. Broke up seemed mild for what had conspired between them in the Stars Hollow High gym. "shattered," she finished on a sigh. Paris looked over at her, completely lost.

"Come again?" she said, pausing for a moment, her books held tight to her chest.

"It was beyond breakup. It was an explosion." She sighed again. "It was terrible." Paris had a moment of sympathy fleet across her face, and then was replaced with stoic reasoning.

"What about?" she said, with a mild caring. Rory gave her a knowing look and then started walking again.

Paris stood in shock for a second or two, watching as Rory walked away in a huff. She caught up with her. "Please don't go all 'politically correct' on me with this, Paris," Rory demanded. "Jess is not a heathen. Nor is he a hoodlum or thug."

"I wasn't going to mention his mannerisms. Just, wow," she said, shaking her head, probably in awe for the first time since the Chanukah Bush incident. "You and the….well, Jess."

"Jess and I," she said, dropping her bag, loaded inevitably with books, onto the pavement beside the bench.

"So," Dave Rygalski said, trying desperately to start up a conversation with Jess Mariano and not get his nose broken. "You and Rory are…together," he commented, sitting at the counter as Jess poured him coffee.

Jess's usual scowl had been replaced by a pleasantly disorganized serenity that came off sometimes as creepy and other times as casual. Both were unusual. Dave and Lane had stopped in and Lane had since left to await Rory's arrival at Lorelai's, anticipating the big news.

"For lack of better term, yes," he said, replacing the coffee pot and ringing up a customer.

"How is Lorelai taking it?" Dave asked, taken aback.

"Like any other mother of a teenager daughter who dated me did," Jess said, wiping down a part of the counter. He paused, looking off. "Minus kitchen knives."

"Wait for it," Dave warned, picking absent-mindedly as a French-fry, leftover on his plate from a long past lunch. "In the meantime, walk on eggshells."

"Got my Flak vest," Jess said, not noticing as he rose from his seat, threw down a few bills, and walked out of the diner. When he looked up, Luke was studying him curiously from the kitchen, wiping his hands on his apron.

"Take a picture," Jess said as he undid his own apron and threw it under the counter. "Breaking," he called out as he walked out the door.

"Jess-," Luke protested halfheartedly as he watched him walk out the front door, a paperback folded in his back pocket. Luke sighed under his breath and came out into the diner to work.

"How was I not the first person you called?" Lane asked the minute Rory walked through the door, looking anxious.

"Lane!" she said, stopping as she let her bag hit the floor.

"Look, I know I've said some bad things about Jess in the past, but I trust you, one hundred percent. One hundred and twenty percent. I did let you dye my hair twice in the same day-," Lane rambled, at a loss for words.

"Lane," Rory said, more calmly this time, taking her best friend by the shoulders and spinning them around in the direction of the kitchen. "Pop-Tarts, before your head spins off."

"We better tell the Surgeon General about this Pop-Tart remedy," Lane said as she sat in one of the chairs while Rory slid a package of frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts into the toaster and gave her friend a glass of water.

"I'll call him, first thing tomorrow morning," Rory promised as she sat down across from Lane, who looked a little disheveled.

"So…Jess," Lane said simply. Rory was starting to dislike the name. She contemplated a code name for Jess, but Dodger was already a nickname.

"Jess," Rory replied, upbeat. She wasn't sure why she was uneasy. Maybe it was the fact that she had the same conversation for the fourth time that day. Maybe it was that she was yet to have her second cup of coffee for the day.

"Oh Sweet Child of Mine!" Lorelai called loudly from the front door.

"I forgot to hide her Guns n' Roses CD," she said to Lane under her breath. "Kitchen!" Rory called back.

"Ah, offspring and offspring's companion," Lorelai noted. "Coffee-less!" she indicated, eyes wide, pointing to their water glasses. "Blasphemy," Lorelai said in a hushed tone. Rory nodded solemnly, not making eye contact to avoid diner-talk.

Lorelai spun around with the finger that had just been pointing held high in the air. "To the diner!"

Rory glared, horrified, at the back of her mother's head, but knowing that she was incorrigible, stood and dragged Lane along behind her, obligingly.

"Dry Pop-Tarts and water turn into burgers and coffee," Lane said thoughtfully as they rushed out the front door. "Luke is kind of like Jesus."

"Oh, he is so hearing that from me," Lorelai said as she slowed down a bit to let them catch up. "May I?"

"Steal away," Lane said.

Rory stopped walking for a moment, noticing Jess reading on a bench in town square, running hand reflexively through his hair, filled with gel. She noticed the look on his face change, too. It had been that way since they ran into each other that morning and had a nervous greeting fit.

Rory broke away from her mother and Lane and they stopped to look at her, puzzled. "I'll catch up," she said, not stopping to further explain. Lorelai shrugged and she and Lane walked off toward food.

Jess was slouched on the bench, reading a beat-up paperback. _'Probably Hemingway,'_ Rory thought to herself. He was wearing his green, army drab jacket and a pair of well-worn jeans with an equally well worn black leather belt. He, she noticed for the first time, was bow-legged. She smiled a little at the thought, the only innocent looking part of Jess were his legs.

He felt his eyes on her, familiar as his own skin. There was no way that eyes that blue didn't emit a radiation when they perused your body, and he was sure it was a scientific fact. He pretended harder to be absorbed in his book. _'She knows what I'm reading,'_ he thought as he hid a smile and reread the same line in _A Farewell to Arms_ for the fourth or fifth time. He wouldn't look up until he was dead sure that she wouldn't run. Too far to make the first move but too close to turn away.

Rory noticed him fidget a little with the corner of a page, itching to turn it, to read whatever notes he had surely put in the margin. He looked up; making eye contact so startlingly immediate that she lost her breath. His plan had worked out perfectly. She couldn't decide whether to root down to the spot and stare back, turn around and pretend that she hadn't seen him, or walk straight forward and kiss him so vividly he'd loose the bow in his legs. She decided to walk up to him. They were together now, after all, there was no reason to be afraid of her…person.

His breath caught a little in his chest too, he realized, as she walked over to him, pretending to be casual. He smirked and closed the book, placing it beside him on the bench as he stood to greet her.

"Hi," she said with a small smile.

"Hi," Jess replied with his usual simplistic air.

"So…," she said, fiddling with the hem of her blue plaid skirt.

"Do you want coffee?" he asked, gesturing to the diner. Rory smiled.

"I'd love some," she said as she waited for him to grab the book and walk beside her, straight and steadfast toward Luke's.

"So," he said, "how was school?" he asked, relaxed as ever. _'If she any idea,'_ Jess thought to himself, _'how unnerved she had me, she'd feel heroic in comparison.'_

"It was, alright I guess," she said, glancing over for a moment to study his face. Rory couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking, but she could tell something had thrown him out of his element. "Yours?"

"Peachy," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He felt her look over at him.

"What'd you do today?" she asked, mockingly exasperated.

"Actually, nothing. I got there on time, went to class, took a few tests, turned in my homework. Turning into Dirk Squarejaw right before your very eyes," he said while he smirked.

"Let's hope not," she said as they stood, waiting to cross the street where an unusual number of cars were cruising. He raised his eyebrows at her, wondering about her comment. _'Let's hope not,'_ he replayed in his mind.

"What I mean is, well we just-you're just so-um," she said, searching for the words that she could actually speak. _'You're perfect, you're all we've ever needed here. We don't need another Dean,'_ she wanted to say, as her head screamed it, loud and clear.

"It's okay, no need to analyze," Jess said, relieving her of trying to find the right words and inevitably disappointing him. She smiled at him appreciatively and he opened the door to the diner for her. He followed in behind her as she took a seat at a table with Lorelai and Lane.

"You're back on time?" Luke asked incredulously as Caeser handed him an order.

"I live for punctuality," Jess said as he grabbed the coffee pot and a mug to go and serve Rory.

"Wrong," Luke stated. "You live for vandalism, tobacco, and weird music."

"One in the same," Jess said over his shoulder as he approached the table.

"What would you call the nephew of the Diner Jesus?" Lorelai asked Rory. Lorelai and Lane had been having an in depth discussion/argument on the topic since Luke walked away, horrified.

"Confused?" Rory said as she watched Jess fill the mug.

"Lorelai, Lane," he acknowledged and then walked away, hiding the urge to shake his head.

"I'd call him Surly," Lorelai said as she sipped her coffee.

Rory glared at her. "Be nice, or I'll have you banned from Jesus' Diner." Lorelai shook her head at her daughter, disbelieving.

"You can't do that, you aren't the Diner Jesus," Lorelai said. Rory gave her a look.

"But I'm dating Surly, the Diner Jesus' nephew. Which gives me power over you…Diner Bible Thumpers."

"You just called me a Diner Bible Thumper!" Lane said through a mouthful of her burger.

"Are you three really still carrying on about the Jesus thing?" Luke asked as he set a to-go box in front of Lorelai.

"Question-," Lorelai chimed in, "is the Diner Jesus allowed to say mean things and wear flannel and backward baseball caps?"

"Out!" Luke said, pointing to the door as she rose and snickered. Luke glared so she hurried backwards out the door. "Work!" she called as the door chimed and she sauntered out.

Luke looked to Lane and then pointed to the clock. Her eyes grew to goose-egg size and she shoved the remainder of her burger down her throat. "Cheerleading!" she yelled, muffled by her food. Rory smiled and waved and Lane ran clumsily out the door and down the street to school.


	3. Patience for Snapping Turtle Tina Two

A/N—Thanks so much for the reviews! Everyone has been awesome so far. BTW: the italicized words are spoilers or thoughts, depending on the situation. This one has spoilers from "Let the Games Begin." Sorry for the confusion. Enjoy!

Rory moved from the table to her spot at the end of the counter, nearest to the curtain, eventually giving way to Jess and Luke's apartment. Jess was roaming the diner, taking orders impatiently, a scowl affixed to his face comfortably as Luke watched on, shaking his head.

"You don't suppose you'll be able to knock some sense into him, do you?" Luke asked her out the corner of his mouth.

She sighed overdramatically. "Maybe there's some hope," she said as they watched him wander back over their way.

Jess went behind the counter, threw down his apron, called in the last of his orders, and told Luke that he was done for the day.

"My ass!" Luke said, sticking his head around the corner. "You're supposed to close tonight!"

"Huh," Jess said as he grabbed Rory's hand and led her behind the curtain. She didn't have the proper time to react, to take the last sip of her coffee, to squeal his name and giggle. Not that she was the squealing, giggly type, but she didn't know second boyfriend sneaks you behind curtains etiquette.

"Hi," he said, once they were upstairs, behind the frosted door of the apartment. He grinned full on this time, interlacing their fingers and pulling her closer. She obliged by grinning back.

"Hi." They reeled each other in for the closest thing to a kiss they were yet to have as a couple. Then the door banged open.

_"Oh god," Luke said, covering his eyes and turning. Rory scrambled out of the room, mumbling apologies and thanks to Jess._

_ "What was going on up here?" Luke asked with Jess cornered at the kitchen table._

_ "Nothing," Jess replied nonchalantly._

_ "Nothing? I come up here and the two of you are like shrapnel!" Luke said, gesturing at the explosive separation that they had. _

"We weren't doing anything," Jess reiterated.

_"You know what? It doesn't matter," Luke said simply. "Because when you guys are here, there's me. When you're at her house, there's Lorelai. And when you're out there…there's __Taylor__," Luke said, gesturing out the door._

_ "Romeo and Juliet had warring families and still managed to do some damage," Jess replied with his eyebrows knit together._

Luke shook his head, confused at his nephew. "Sometimes I don't get it, what she sees in you. And then you whip out Shakespeare factoids and it's all very clear," Luke said as he walked out the door and back downstairs into the diner.

Rory sat at the kitchen table, staring at her now frigid Pop-Tart.

_'He wanted to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him. It wasn't wrong,'_ she said, trying to wrap her brain around it. Then she had the visual of Luke ripping into the room flit across her mind and winced reflexively. Jess had either received the ultimatum of the millennium or had been ordered back into the diner as his punishment. Rory couldn't see an ultimatum, he had Shane in his closet at one point and Luke had done nothing short of close the door and roll his eyes.

_"But you're the Virgin Mary, Star's Hollow's Sweetheart,'_ she thought, sighing heavily. The stigma, the innocence, the virginity, she hated them all. She hated the way people smiled at her on the street that didn't even know her. Hated the way that people pretended to know her. _"Oh, there's Rory Gilmore. She's going to Harvard. She goes to a private school in __Hartford__. Bet she'll make valedictorian. She's so nice. She is so wonderful, Lorelai is so lucky.'_ She heard it all in her head. The nauseating kindness, the frightfully perfect persona that she upheld.

"Lorelai Two?" Lorelai called as she crashed into the front hall. She had brought with her a disgusting amount of Chinese food and the intention of a discussion regarding Jess. Lorelai knew it would be a long night.

"Bedroom!" Rory called as she stood and quickly cantered into her room, pretending to be looking at her small bookshelf for something that she had lost.

"Ah ha!" Lorelai said when she found her, and grabbed her arm, dragging her back into the kitchen.

"Everything on the menu that entailed an appetizer as a side dish," Lorelai said proudly at the spread of little white boxes. "At least a quarter of the menu."

"If we keep breaking our own records, it'll just get boring," Rory pointed out as she brought down plates and silverware from the cupboard.

"Ah, I see. So once we take over the menu, we need a new place, I remember how this works," Lorelai said as she spooned out a nauseating quantity of food onto a fairly small plate.

"We can't wear out a good place too quickly. It loses its appeal after single-handedly sampling every chicken dish on the menu," Rory said as they walked into the living room and fell onto the couch gingerly, making sure to not spill any food.

"We'll just have to try to control ourselves," Lorelai said, shoveling the food into her mouth and staring at the blank television.

"I guess we will." Lorelai let the silence build for a few seconds before she thought of the next thing she needed to say.

"So…Jess." Rory did a mental sigh.

"Jess."

"I guess since you guys are together now, we actually need to talk about him now," Lorelai said as she chewed slowly.

"We probably should've talked about it seriously before it happened," Rory said, her irritation trickling into the conversation.

"At any rate, you're together now and it needs to be discussed." They boiled in the silence for a moment, and then Rory rolled her eyes.

"This cannot be what happens every time he comes up in a conversation, mom," Rory said, shoveling yet more food into her mouth.

"I know, I know, but it's just…Jess! Your father wanted to rip his head off after you guys got into that accident. I'm having a _really _hard time trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you're with him now," Lorelai said, putting her hands over her face and laying her head back on the couch.

"You have to be nice to him. You can't hate him just because. You have to give him a chance," Rory said, looking at the side of Lorelai's now shaking head.

"I'll try babe, I promise I'll _try_," Lorelai said, muffled by her hands. "You have to be patient with me, or this will _never _happen." She was silent for a moment, expecting a reply from Rory that was yet to come. "Your grandparents are going to freak," she said finally.

"Well, we can tell them when we need to tell them. Nobody said they needed to hear about it the day it happened. Besides, it's not like they're going to invite him over for engagement parties and DAR auctions. We'll be lucky if grandma will remember his name just despite him," Rory said, rambling to fill the void.

Lorelai smiled. "My mother, Emily Gilmore, the craziest woman ever to walk the streets of Hartford, Connecticut."

"It makes me feel privileged," Rory said, smiling brightly.

"Look at it this way," Lorelai said, picking up her plate again. "You're probably one of the sanest people in _all_ of Connecticut."

Jess sat in his room, reading as usual, music playing in the background. Luke opened the door and glanced at the clock. Jess momentarily lifted his eyes to the clock to see what was of such interest.

"Do you know what time it is?" Luke asked, squinting vaguely at his nephew.

"Ten," Jess said as he turned a page.

Luke grimaced a little at the music in the background. "How do you go from smash metal to crybaby rock?" Luke asked when he finally caught on to the background noise.

"The Wallflowers are not crybaby rock. And the Distillers aren't smash metal," Jess said simply. "They're artists. The Wallflowers are one of my many vices." Luke tried to listen for another second and then opened his mouth again.

"Aren't they a little, um, poetic for your type?" Luke wanted to know. Jess, in response, lifted his book higher so Luke could see the title. It was a loosely bound copy of some obscure E.E. Cummings poetry. "Ah," Luke said, understanding.

"Yup," Jess said, returning the book to its resting spot.

"Anyway, Rory's on the phone, thought I'd let you know," he said as he walked out of the room, leaving the door partially ajar. Jess paused as Luke walked out of the room, his breath caught in the balance between his throat and his mouth. Rory had called him. Rory had made another move. He felt the urge to run across town and kiss the innocence out of her trip into his blood stream.

Jess rose and walked into the other room to the small, corded phone that sat on the counter. The receiver was sitting face down next to the sink.

"Luke, we're getting a cordless, even if that entails me cutting the cord to this," Jess said, right as he picked up the phone and the dock, walking them into his room, stretching the cord across the macadam kitchen.

"Break it, you bought it," Luke called from the other room.

"Hey," Jess said pleasantly once he got the door to his bedroom closed.

"Hi," she said with a dazzling smile, shining in her word.

"How are you?" he asked, turning down his music a few notches so the words were a little more obscure.

"Tired. I think I heard the phrase 'So…Jess,' about eight thousand times today, from various sources," she said, sounding happy but exasperated.

"Funny, I heard, 'Hurt her and die,' a few times," Jess replied, smiling.

"You know what else I heard?" Rory asked teasingly.

"What?" he asked, for the hell of it.

"That you should meet me tomorrow afternoon after school at the bridge."

"You talking to Miss Patty again?" Jess asked mockingly.

Rory rolled her eyes and readjusted herself. "Bye Jess."

"Bye Lorelai," he said, hanging up the phone before she could protest.

"Mean!" Rory yelled at the dial tone.

"What'd he do?" Lorelai said, shuffling triumphantly into the room.

"He called me Lorelai."

"I knew this would come back and bite us in the ass," Lorelai said, standing hands

on hips, shaking her head.

"Just call us both Snapping Turtle Tina," Rory said.


	4. Boogey Clothes

**A/N-Thanks SOOO much for the reviews, they're great. Forewarning: I may not update as frequently as I'd like because of school (yes, I'm a full-time highschool student, sorry!). Keep them coming!**

xxx

Jess woke up Tuesday morning the following week with Luke staring at him like an idiot. He grimaced and reflexively drew the covers higher.

"Can I help you?" he grumbled.

"No, not really," Luke said, now smiling uncontrollably. They sat there for a few more seconds.

"Seriously?" Jess said as he whipped back the covers and threw his legs over the side of the bed to pull on a pair of pants. "It's early as all hell, and since this is Hell, I assume that this is commonplace for you. However, it's a Tuesday, I'm tired, and I don't need to be at school for almost two hours. Now, again, can I help you?"

"Honor roll?" Luke asked, laughing now.

"Jesus," Jess said, stomping into the next room, snatching up the letter from the table. "To whom it may concern," Jess started, under his breath. "It has come to our attention that the Star's Hollow High School student at this address has been admitted as a member of our Honor Roll, Congratulations." Jess stood and looked at the letter for a minute. To him, the letter meant little to nothing. And easier way to get into a college he didn't want to attend, a way to make the town realize that he wasn't just good for corruption.

A way to get closer to Rory. And also importantly, and assured stay in Star's Hollow until he could convince someone to leave with him.

"I am so calling your mother," Luke said as he laughed still at Jess. Jess flung the letter onto the table and stalked past Luke towards the bathroom.

"I'm showering. If you call my mother, I'm SO giving Lorelai the whole pot of coffee," Jess said, standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

Luke shrugged. "My funeral is your funeral."

xxx

"Honor roll? Luke, it's too early for jokes," Lorelai said as she watched the coffeemaker drip.

"Why would I kid about Jess doing something right?" Luke wanted to know.

"Uh, I don't know Luke. Because he doesn't?" Lorelai said, making sure Rory wasn't coming into the room. She could hear the shower upstairs running so she knew she was in the clear for a few more minutes.

"I swear, Jess Mariano made Star's Hollow High School's honor roll," Luke said as he stuck it to the refrigerator, knowing it would strike a nerve. Regardless of the displeasure that it would cause Jess, Luke was finally starting to feel like he was doing something right with this kid.

Lorelai narrowed her eyes in a flirty attitude that was lost on Luke's part. "I want proof, or I want pancakes," she said in confidant mode.

"I could show you the letter."

"How do I know it's not a fake?"

"Because I don't have time to lie about Jess's academics."

"But you have a typewriter.

"Do you seriously want pancakes this bad?"

"I want to believe you so bad I'm willing to use your own pancakes as leverage against you," Lorelai said as she watched Rory walk into the kitchen, give a finger wave, and walk into her room to change for school.

Luke was silent for a few seconds. "Have you ever heard of schizophrenia?" Luke asked as he hung up the phone. Lorelai replaced the phone on the table, unfazed by Luke's remark. He usually told her she needed to be committed a few times a week.

"Mom!" Rory called from her room.

"Yes?"

"How long has it been since you've done laundry?" Lorelai did some quick tabulation in her head.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?"

"Mom!" she exclaimed as she walked out, holding five empty hangers. "I have NO Chilton clothes!"

"Oooh, that laundry," Lorelai said as she poured coffee into her mug. Just enough to suffice until she could harangue Luke into giving her coffee. "I picked them up yesterday, but you were studying or something so I put them in the coat closet."

Rory stared at her mother for a moment and then blinked. "You put my Chilton uniforms in the coat closet?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Wait, we have a coat closet?" Rory said with a furrowed brow.

"I guess. It's kind of icky and cold in there; I'd get them before the boogey man does," Lorelai said mockingly.

"Mom! I can't wear boogey man clothes!" Rory said as she ran into the foyer, holding her towel tight and flung open the first door that she thought could pass for a coat closet.

"Ewww," Rory said as she walked back into the kitchen, holding them out, far away from her on the ends of her fingers. "They smell!"

Lorelai stood up to inspect them. After a quick whiff, she got out the Febreze and handed it to her.

"Spray 'em."

xxx

Rory returned home from school that day and went straight to the diner, sure to avoid Michel's watchful eyes at the Inn.

"Rory Gilmore," Taylor said as he came across town square in her direction. Rory contemplated ducking her head and pretending that he wasn't there. But she knew that she would end up getting more grief if she avoided him and he snuck up on her later.

"Hi Taylor," she said, barely muffling a sigh as she turned to see him.

"Dean said something about a breakup…" Taylor started, wringing his hands.

"Taylor, you were at the dance marathon," Rory said as she tilted her head, inquiringly.

"Well I think we all can agree that I was a little out of my element," Taylor said, snapping a little.

"Yes, I agree. Anyway, Dean and I aren't exactly together anymore."

"That's terrible. What happened?"

"We didn't like each other anymore," Rory pointed out.

"What a shame. Dean has just been devastated these past few days. I hope you're doing better than he's been," Taylor said in prepackaged sympathy.

"I have," Rory responded, purposefully cryptic.

"I can't imagine why," Taylor began. "It must've been a terrible shock, losing a boy after so long. Why, there simply isn't a way to have gotten over the shock already-," Taylor rambled.

"I'm with Jess now, Taylor! That's why we split up! Jesus Christ in heaven you ask a lot of questions!" Rory exclaimed. Taylor paled at her remarks.

"Young lady!"

"I'm sorry Taylor. I have to be going. I told my mom I'd meet her at Luke's after school. Have a nice day," Rory said insincerely as she stalked off toward the diner.

Upon entering the door, Luke wrapped her in a huge hug.

"Glad to see you too Luke," she said as she struggled a little for air.

"You almost made Taylor cry! I can't believe it! Do you know how long I've been trying to do that for? I've been trying to make Taylor that upset since God was a boy! How'd you do it? I need to know all the details so I can really make his life as miserable as he says it is," Luke said, a little hyperactive.

"I told him that I was with Jess and that he asked too many questions."

"That's it? I don't believe it. I've told him far worse things and he's done nothing short of roll his eyes and make a comment about my attire of the day," Luke said, a little taken aback.

"You've desensitized him," Jess said as he set a cup of coffee in Rory's spot at the counter and she took it as permission to take a seat.

"Then there's hope for the next generation,' Luke said as he stalked back into the kitchen. Jess was glad for the sliver of privacy and he replaced the pot of coffee back on the brewer, out of Rory's reach.

"I think almost making Taylor cry deserves something more than a cup of amazing coffee," Rory said, smirking wildly.

Jess leaned across the counter in response and picked up her free hand, resting it gently, palm up, in his. She felt the rougher contours of his palm against the small back of her own. She saw the dexterity in them without the movement, their kindness showing regardless of their owner. The softness of them was unreal, deeper than skin, deeper than she could've imagined it. Jess was this unreal being. So rough to touch without actually feeling. So soft once you took the moment to actually _feel_ him. _'Somehow I don't think toying with the idea of _feeling_ Jess Mariano is a musing you ought to share,'_ she thought as she continued to unconsciously stare at their hands.

He looked up at her once he was sure that he held her, captivated by his next move. This would be slow, methodical, a reintroduction. He could change. He already had changed. Who in the history of his family had thought they would see Mariano on the Honor Society list? Nobody. Not a single one of them had a shred of faith in them for Jess.

Which is why he had her. She held that single shred of overbearing conviction.

And he loved it.

He took his other hand and cradled her elbow, his thumb resting in the crook of it gently. Rory had a quick lapse in her breathing as she looked down a little further to see what he was doing. His touch was light and reassuring, indefinitely present.

Jess took a moment to recalculate what he was going to do. His mind was reeling. He was touching her with two hands. It was just too absurd. The angel girl, Star's Hollow's finest. And he held her here with his own two hands.

Dragging his mind back to the present situation, he gently dragged his hand down her arm, his thumb staying inside, gently gliding across her impossibly soft skin. When he came to her wrist, Rory suppressed gasping, his touch electrifying her with every agonizing second.

When his thumb finally reached her palm, her hand reflexively closed around it, and embarrassed, she let it fall open again. And at the moment, her heart followed suit, and opened up the very same way.

Jess never thought he'd see straight again.

**A/N: I know, very fluffy. But I was feeling deprived, I didn't get to see my wonderful boyfriend today and I needed a little bit of fluff. Like I said, sorry it's taken so long to update, I'll try and update a little more often. I got blocked. Please R/R!**


	5. Swiss Goose Bumps

**A/N: Thanks for all of the AMAZING reviews, you guys are actually the best.**

**moon,gates,slaying: the hands-down BEST reviewer. Seriously, I love you. That was the single most enthusiastic piece of feedback I've ever received. Thank you. BTW-I update about once a week, usually on Saturdays. **

**Bittersweetbloodbaby: I bow down, I LOVE Pennames and Lights, Camera, Action! Thanks for taking the time to read my simple story.**

**Lizzy11120: I know the feeling, that's what I felt like when I finished that chapter. I promised myself I'd have it up by ****midnight **** and spent most of the day tailgating and/or playing solitaire. lol. **

**Spinaround, kylie1403, JanelleRae, schnitzel21: thanks for the reviews. They mean a lot, all of them.**

**Hallon: Lovin' the review. Very sweet of you! There will be intermittent chapters with stuff from 'today' definitely. I wouldn't leave Chapter 1 all alone like that!**

**Jessobsessed09: you'll be rewarded soon….**

**Soph: Yeah, the honor roll and some stuff to come are how Jess got into Yale. It occurred to me after I wrote that chapter that I had to torque around his academic life a little bit to get some realism in there. Honor roll was a long shot, but the scene was cute enough if I do say so myself ****J. BTW-Taylor didn't know either because 1) he was recovering from the hangover that actually might kill you, or 2) he locked himself in his basement singing songs from Pirates of the ****Caribbean**** while drinking a barrel of rum. That, my friend, is why the rum is gone.**

**Oh, and the disclaimer meanies may come to lynch me in my sleep, so I don't own Gilmore Girls or anyone in it, though I would like to know where Milo Ventimiglia works out so I can hop on getting a membership.**

**Here's the fic (finally!)—**

She wasn't sure why the feeling of her heart being dissected had seemed so accurate when she thought it. It was impulsive, very not-Rory. She loved it anyway though. The same way that Jess loved her and her hope for him.

He looked into her eyes for a moment as his thumb landed in her palm, finally resting. Never breaking eye contact, he took her hand with his, keeping his thumb in her palm, and gently ran the fingers across his lips. She felt a storm of desire sweep through her from the floor up and barrage her with goose bumps.

_'Lord why does she have to look like this?'_ Jess asked himself as he continued to gently run her hand across his lips, gently kissing each fingertip. _'Why does she have to look so lost at every other moment than this one? Why does she have to look so, uprooted?'_ He finally had her palm before his mouth. He placed inside of it, a soft, insufferably gentle kiss.

_'One kiss can hold more secrets than a politician, more water than an ocean, and more complications than the inter workings of ones brain,' _Rory thought, not quoting anyone in particular, _'yet they're dispensed at will, with love. Because love is stronger than water, politics, and reason.'_

And then, as never-fail as she could ever hope to be, Lorelai waltzed into the diner, and then just as the door closed, froze.

"Blind!" she screamed as she fell partially against the door, disturbing the Venetian blinds and covering her eyes as if someone had flung vinegar into them. "_So_ blind!"

"God," Rory said as she snapped her arm reluctantly from Jess's grasp and rested her hands in her lap, folded as neatly as she could manage. Jess immediately placed another mug of coffee next to Rory, allowing Lorelai the benefit of knowing where to sit. However, Lorelai was still trying to navigate her way through the diner with her eyes covered when Rory scoffed.

"Mom, you can quit being blind now."

"Wrong. This blindness is coffee-curable only. No more canoodling in public, 'kay?" she asked as she sat down finally at the stool and brought the mug to her lips. Rory rolled her eyes as she watched her mother for a moment over the rim of her mug. Though he was across the room, Rory could hear Jess smirk when Lorelai said 'canoodling.'

"I was not 'canoodling'," Rory said, using air quotes. Lorelai made some disgusting kissy sounds against the back of her hand and Rory took away her coffee and set it far away on her side of the counter.

"WAY mean!" Lorelai said, reaching across her in hopes of retrieving the mug. Rory moved it further away while still shaking her head.

"Forget it. Be blind. Then I can canoodle," Rory said, casually sipping her coffee and smiling brightly at Jess in hopes of a refill. He rolled his eyes and topped off her mug. She mouthed thanks and Lorelai watched the interaction.

"Eye canoodling! I knew there was such a thing! Luke! Lukey! Come hither!" Lorelai said, bouncing in her seat. Immediately, Rory and Jess's looks turned into ones of mock humiliation and incredulity. Luke stepped out of the kitchen.

"No pancakes," he said, then spotted Jess standing obediently before Rory. He rolled his eyes casually and refocused his attention to a still-giddy Lorelai.

"They were eye canoodling! I swear on my pancakes! And before they were hand canoodling!" she said, pointing at the pair.

"Tattle tale!" Rory said indignantly as she handed Lorelai back her cup of coffee. Luke looked repulsed.

"There are people trying to eat in here," he said, looking at all three of them. He redirected his glare to Jess. "You don't seem like the 'canoodling' type. What with the scowl and the paperback, and the gelled hair. It all seems very anti-canoodling," Luke said, observantly.

"You know you've said a word too much when it doesn't sound like a word anymore," Jess said as he walked away from behind the counter, eliciting timid giggles from Rory and Lorelai.

xxx

Dean eyed the group angrily from outside the diner, his jaw working overtime in compensation of grinding his teeth. It made him angry to no ends. Rory was going to get herself hurt, and he was sure of it. When he saw Jess kiss her hand, he could hear his blood boil. He could see Rory melt into the stool and manage to resume an inquisitive demeanor. She was too amazing for him. What was he, some diner boy?

Then Lorelai walked in and it was like Jess was apart of their lives. That was what set him off. Seeing them interact, even if it was out of sheer politeness. Dean had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was actually out of the picture, and he drowned it by stalking back to Doose's and resuming work.

xxx

"You were canoodling at Luke's?" Lane asked enthusiastically as she and Rory walked back to Rory's house. Rory had spent the remainder of her day listening to Lane's band practice. They had taken an experimental day of loud playing, greatly downsizing the amount of chit-chat available.

"Geez," Rory said as she adjusted her shirt and looked around, hoping that nobody had heard Lane.

"With Jess? Better hope you were in an alternate universe where nobody could see you," Lane scoffed.

"I definitely wasn't. My mom walked in and went hysterically blind."

"Is she cured?"

"Jess gave her coffee. Probably it wasn't in his best interest to deny her."

"I can't imagine. I've known Lorelai to threaten Luke with dismemberment when he denied her of her coffee fix."

Rory smiled brightly. "I love my mommy."

Lane sighed enviously. "I, on the other hand, do not."

"She can't stay like this forever. Dave's nice."

"Oh no, she loves Dave. It's me that she doesn't like."

"That's not true," Rory stated in sympathy.

"Oh yes it is. The guilt trips, I'm afraid, aren't ever seeming to reach their high point. They just get worse and worse and worse."

"What is she guilt-ing you about now?"

"That's what I want to know."

"Mostly my mom yells because I study when she's out of town and I could very easily be as destructive as I wanted."

"I envy you so bad."

xxx

"Home, then gone!" Rory called as she jogged into the door and went straight into her room. She heard Lorelai mumble something very Rodney Dangerfield as she fixed her hair and changed into a light blue tank-top. Reapplying her lipgloss, she walked out into the kitchen to find her mother scrutinizing her.

"The shirt's too small," Lorelai said, her eyebrows raised at the sight of apparently inappropriate amounts of bared skin.

"What are you talking about?" Rory said, turning awkwardly to see herself better. "You've borrowed this from me like, nine times."

"Yeah, and I also am not seventeen years old."

Rory caught on. "Mom, I'm only wearing this shirt to cut down on the amount of time he needs to spend getting me undressed." She was motivated further by the look on her mother's face. "Surely you know that that's all we do together," Rory continued, trying painfully hard to stifle her smile.

"That's it, I'm sending you to Catholic school."

"Catholic school girl uniform. Dirty," Rory teased.

"Or to Switzerland."

"Bonjour, I am Swiss, speak French, and like to drink wine and take off my shirt."

"Change the shirt."

"You can't be serious," Rory said, halting the teasing.

"What do you plan on doing that includes this much…skin?" Lorelai asked, reluctant as soon as the words left her lips.

"We're going to a movie."

"Movie theaters are cold."

"Only in the summer."

"No, they always air condition movie theaters."

"You're making that up."

"Will it get you to change the shirt?"

"No."

xxx

Jess walked through the town to get to the Gilmore house. He had his hands stuffed in his pocket and his insides were knotted somewhere just below his Adam's Apple. Lorelai Gilmore was nice at first site but piss-yourself-terrifying when it came to Rory. He had known from brief experience. He was the kid with a bad attitude to everyone but Rory and on occasion, Luke. But no one in town (except perhaps Taylor Doose and Dean Forester) wanted Jess on a bus back to New York more than Lorelai.

So his epiphany came about halfway through his walk. He cared enough about Rory to brave the town, her bitter ex-boyfriend, and her at times psychotic mother to be with her.

Wait a minute, he cared about somebody?

_'Stop it,'_ Jess ordered himself, and stopped for a moment. _'Last time you cared, even remotely about someone, you got shipped off to the __Storybook__Town__.'_ But it wasn't right, the action he took felt icky and heavy. It felt like a weight on his shoulder.

_'On the other hand,'_ his conscience said, finally kicking into action, _'maybe this is _finally _right. You can't uphold his _'I am Jess, hear me scowl'_ demeanor forever. Take charge, stop being a wuss.'_

Jess kept walking. The weight was gone.

xxx

"You'll be back by 11," Lorelai stated as she hovered behind Rory.

"Probably," Rory said back, taking it as a question.

"No, you WILL be back by 11 o'clock or I'll snap him like a chicken."

"_How_?" Rory asked turning and giving her mother a disbelieving look. Lorelai opened her mouth to describe the gory details when the doorbell sounded.

"There is a God," Rory breathed as she rushed to answer the door. She swung open the door to find Jess, standing, casual as always, with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," she said, smiling and dragging him into the entrance hall. He was wearing a pair of worn-in jeans, held on his narrow hips by a brown belt. His black button-down shirt had the first two buttons open, and his hair was done to look flippant but gelled into submission.

He watched her as she scrutinized/checked him out. He wanted to laugh, she was so methodical yet quick, anxious about Lorelai's entrance into the room. If she found her checking out him, Lorelai's head may have spun off.

Jess blinked as he took in what Rory was wearing. He had seen the shirt countless numbers of times before, and he remembered wondering what it'd be like to belong to what wore it. But he never noticed the racy way she wore it.

"Alright, seriously, I'm gonna chuck biscuits, get outside, be back at 11," Lorelai said, shoving them out the door and throwing a jacket and her purse to Rory. When they looked back as she closed the door, Lorelai had her eyes narrowed and looked to be mumbling.

"Your mom…?"

"She has her Rodney Dangerfield days."

Jess took Rory's hand and they started walking. "No respect, no respect," he said mockingly as they walked standing close. She laughed and looked up slightly at him, he was grinning, almost fully smiling.

"So about this movie."

"It's a surprise."

"If it's a Kirk movie, forget it."

"Not quite a Kirk movie."

"If it's Honey, Gigli, or Uptown Girls, I will seriously question your sexual orientation and/or your intentions with me." Jess just grinned.


	6. Love Actually

**A/N—Wow, the reviews, everything, I'm humbled. You guys, seriously, I'm loving it. **

**Someone5: Thanks for the GREAT compliment! I'm glad you're pleased!**

**Lizzy11120: Sorry about the late update again, I had been out at a football game all night (the wonderful boyfriend is a linebacker) and he had me home late (grin and a giggle).**

**UnDiScOvErEdAuThOr, spinaround: thanks for the support! **

**Bittersweetbloodbaby: No, thank you. I can't tell you what you reviewing my story means. If you can offer ANY advice, I'll take it gladly. And I LOVE crushing Dean. A lot.**

**Soph: Thanks again! Rodney Dangerfield was an actor who was notorious for saying the line (or a variation thereof), "Can't get no respect, no respect at all I tell ya." My mom claims relation to him when I'm 'unnecessarily mean' to her. **

**I pride myself on Lorelai moments…(grins). And the closing line was something that popped into my head at about ****11:50**** on Saturday night, glad you liked it.**

**Moon,gates,slaying: Thanks again! You're still one of my most favorite reviewers! I love to keep them smiling!**

**RandomGG25: You read my mind. Luke and Lorelai are going to get their attention in the VERY near future. Thanks for the sweet review!**

**Literatiever: Wow, thanks SOO much. I'm glad you like it. We will see very soon what movie they went to see (though the timeframe may be slightly off).**

**I'm not sure about the fine-print with these disclaimers, but—Hi, my name's not Amy Sherman-Palladino, therefore, I don't own Gilmore Girls or any of the characters.**

**The fic!**

Love Actually. She heard him say it. Two for Love Actually. Not only had Jess said love, but he had taken her to a movie about it. Rory Gilmore had sat through a movie about British people in love, with Jess Mariano. And she wanted to stay there forever. Watching Jess grin secretly at the most discreet moments, seeing him grimace when cheesy bits of dialogue would float their way.

Rory wanted to marry the movie at that moment.

Jess remembered calling the theater earlier in the day, seeing if anything worthwhile was playing. If Rory had to sit through the Lord of the Rings with him, she'd be reminded of Dean. And if Jess was expected to sit through Peter Pan, he'd be reminded that he had pride.

He had heard great things. And he, despite himself, liked Liam Neeson. He knew Rory would love it. It was a combination of Christmas and romance. Again, despite himself, he loved it too. Because he loved her.

"That was _incredible_," she gushed to Jess as they walked out of the theater, his arm slung around her waist unceremoniously. Jess smiled fully, down at his angelic girlfriend.

"Huh, it kinda was," Jess said as he led them out into the romantically chilled air. Rory glanced down at her watch as they walked, painfully slowly down the sidewalk.

"It's only 10:15…," she commented, squeezing his hand a little bit. He smiled and quickened their gait, dragging her in the direction of the bridge. They reached the middle and he spun her around so that she was fitted up against his body perfectly.

"Jess," Rory giggled, pretending to push him away by applying the lightest of pressure to his chest where one of her hands had become trapped.

"Rory," he whined back. His hands slid to her back and he gently stroked it, feather light, intensifying with every pass. "This, in all actuality, is our first date," Jess stated simply as she gave into the affection and rested her forehead against his.

She looked up to see him in the eye and saw that his were twinkling with delight. She wanted to laugh at her own thoughts. Nothing about Jess should twinkle. Jess burned, Jess smoldered, Jess combusted. But it was there, nonetheless, present as the slim, crescent moon.

"It is, isn't it?" she said absent mindedly.

"The ball's in your court," he said, pulling her a little closer, leaving little left to imagination about what was under his clothes. She gasped as waves of tingles hit her hard.

Taking a moment to snake her hands up to his neck, Rory lightly pulled Jess's head down and placed a kiss on his ready lips. Jess felt his breath catch in his chest as she made her small but terrifyingly larger-than-life first moves on him. He took the kiss like a prayer and let his heart decide the rest.

xxx

(**A/N-I'm not sure about the timeline involving Nicole, but in my world, she never came into play. Now that we have that out of the way…**)

"Luke!" Lorelai called from the counter, pretending to be nearly asleep. "Coffee, before I pass out," she said, holding out he mug on the end of her finger helplessly.

"One day, you're going to have so much caffeine in your system that you're going to start hallucinating," he said as he poured the coffee into her mug. She was dressed in a purple, plunging neckline knit shirt and a pair of dark jeans, with her, as usual, overpriced shoes. She let her hair run curly and she had left her makeup unfreshened, keeping her looking all-too natural. Luke shook himself slightly to snap the thought out of his head.

Lorelai reached across the counter and pinched him.

"Ow! Lorelai! What's wrong with you?" Luke asked as he jumped back and lightly rubbed the spot where she had pinched him on his upper arm.

"Well, I had to make sure you were real," she said, as if it made perfect sense.

"You amaze me sometimes, Lorelai Gilmore," he said walking away, choking lightly on his words. Lorelai amazed him all the time.

"Well, dahling, that's because I _am_ amazing," she said, sipping her coffee lightly as he walked back into the kitchen. She averted her eyes to the counter, studying a barely visible scuff-mark. Lorelai was single. Lorelai was sad. Lorelai had been madly enthralled with Luke Danes for quite some time, and had no one who would take her seriously.

She caught sight of something tall and sulky walking past the window and realized that it was Jess and Rory, walking out of the movie theater. He had his arm hung around her waist, guiding her lazily down the street. Rory checked her watch.

"Good girl," Lorelai said quietly, cheering her on. She smirked at Jess and they picked up their walk and hurried off together in the direction of the bridge. Lorelai sighed and reached behind her for her mug, severely overshooting, her hand collided with Luke's stomach.

"'Scuse me!" he said, surprised by her unsuspected contact. The place where she had unknowingly touched him burned gently and he backed away, walking around the counter to buy himself time and sit down beside her.

"Sorry, I was going for the coffee."

"It's okay, just didn't want you to dump that crap on me," he said, gesturing to her cup. She smiled and then was reminded of what she had just seen.

"Rory and Jess decided to extend the evening's events," Lorelai said, frowning slightly at the loss of a visual on her only daughter. Luke had been struggling with the idea of his cut-up nephew and Star's Hollow's very own princess together for the past week. He had originally thought that Jess was going to ruin her life and break her heart, but regardless of his immediate ideas on Jess in a relationship, Luke was giving him a chance.

"Looks that way," Luke said, staring out the window with her. He studied Lorelai for a moment, noting the worried look on her face.

"Huh," she said, on the brink of being upset.

"Hey," he said, turning his face towards hers. "They're on a bridge, in the middle of Small Town U.S.A.. Nothing bad is going to happen. With any luck, Miss Patty or Babette with stroll across and break up anything too racy," he said, joking at the end.

Lorelai exhaled a small, contented sigh. "You're right, I'm just worried, you know? This second boyfriend thing is hard. She and Dean were so...solid."

Luke turned to face Lorelai and rested his hand protectively on her knee. They both felt the sparks emanate from the touch, but neither felt inclined to do anything to stop it.

He shrugged. "I guess we gotta let them figure this one out." He realized the look on Lorelai's face. "Rory's a smart kid, and she's a lot stronger willed than Jess. She won't let anything happen that she doesn't want to happen. She's your daughter of all people, everybody knows that she's a control freak."

"I raise them to survive. If it means pushing him around a little bit, he's gotta be willing," Lorelai said, grinning.

"Somehow I doubt that Jess is going to give into being told what to do."

"You'd be surprised at the things that Rory can make boys do. She could have them running around her in circles like trained ponies if she put her mind to it."

"The mental picture of Jess prancing around in a circle is a little too horrifying for this time of night."

_'Oh just ask her out you jackass,' _Luke said, mentally kicking himself. Lorelai laughed heartily and Luke chuckled along with her. When the laughing started to calm, he decided to talk again.

"Hey," he started, awfully shakily. Lorelai raised her eyes to his expectantly. "Do you want to have dinner with me on Friday night?"

Lorelai felt the world halt beneath her as she heard Luke utter the most beautiful words she could've hoped for. She studied his handsome face for something, mostly she found a nervous energy humming throughout him, but part of her found affection and she almost had to smile at that.

"Uh, sure!" she said, trying hard not to be enthusiastic. Everyone in town had known that sooner or later they'd look across the counter and think, "Hey, where've you been all my life?", but Lorelai was still coming to terms with the fact that Luke was offering her something more than a hot cup of coffee and three squares a day.

"Great. That's great," Luke said, relaxing ten fold and feeling a little proud of himself. "I'll pick you up at seven?" he asked, still, even at his age, very new to the dating thing.

"Sure," she said as she stood and pulled on her coat. "But hey, listen, I gotta run home and make sure Rory's back by curfew."

"Also known as moving all of the clocks forward so that you can interrogate her with some shadow of purpose behind it. Gotcha. Talk to you tomorrow," he said, waving as she walked out the door.

Lorelai smiled all the way home. This was love, actually. Or something a lot like it.

xxx

Jess and Rory stood on the Gilmore porch, with two minutes left until Rory's curfew rolled around. Jess had his lips working softly on the hollow of Rory's neck and Lorelai was sitting on the couch with her eyes closed, counting the seconds.

"Are you _sure_ that you have to be back by eleven?" Jess said, muffled against her ivory skin.

Rory let out a little elated sigh, just this side of a quiet moan. "Yes, my mom told me to be home exactly at eleven," she stated sadly. He reluctantly pulled his lips away from her slender neck and placed a tender kiss on her lips before descending the stairs quickly.

"Call me," she ordered as she opened the door. He waved in acknowledgement and she entered the house.

"Right on time," Lorelai said, standing up quickly to greet her daughter who was dropping her coat and shoes in the hallway. "So, how'd it go? Still virginized?" Lorelai asked, rubbing her hands together.

"God!" Rory said, dropping her stuff fully on the floor and straightening to see her mother full in the face.

"Sorry, I don't know how to ask about your second-first date! Last time it was all very after-school special. This time I feel the need to make up words," Lorelai rationalized.

"I was at a _movie_, mom," Rory said as she looked at her mother incredulously.

"How am I supposed to know? It's not like I followed you or anything," Lorelai said, a little too casually.

Rory narrowed her eyes. "Mom."

"I didn't _actually_ follow you. The fact that this town is small enough to see almost everyone all the time is definitely not my fault," she said, leading them into the living room.

"Right," Rory said slowly as she flopped onto the couch beside Lorelai. They sat in silence for a few moments, only hearing their own thoughts and the other's breathing.

"How was the date?" Lorelai asked seriously. Rory smiled to herself, color creeping in from her neck.

"Good," she said simply, not wishing to share the details of the lip action that had conspired on the bridge only minutes before.

"Just good? You guys looked like a couple of oversexed teenagers running toward the bridge after that movie got out. Wait, you are," Lorelai said, trying to lighten the situation to avoid picking a fight.

"I knew you were watching!" Rory said, pointing accusatorily.

"I was sitting in Luke's, having a cup of coffee!" Lorelai countered, her thoughts halting as she replayed the scene in her mind. She was going out with Luke on Friday night.

"Stalker," Rory said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I bet you don't even remember what movie he took you to see," Lorelai teased childishly.

"Do too! Love Actually!" she said, sticking her tongue out as she finished. Lorelai laughed explosively, unable to contain her incredulity-laced amusement.

"Love. Actually. I can't even wrap my brain around Jess 'I am curt, hear me roar' Mariano sitting through Love Actually. Do you know that that was the second best thing that's been said to me all day?" Lorelai said, still grinning ear-to-ear.

"Well he did, and he liked it, I could tell-what do you mean 'second best'?" Rory asked, suddenly very suspicious.

"No, he did not like that movie. I refuse to believe it. There isn't a chance. Hugh Grant is in that movie."

"Mom!" Rory yelled over her, trying to understand the first-best thing she had heard all night. "What do you mean by second best?"

"Oh. That. Luke kind of asked me out," she said, looking off in the other direction, speaking softly but grinning a little at the thought.

Rory sat dead silent for a moment as the words floated into her head.

"MOM!" She screamed, launching herself into a hug with her mother, finally hearing the words of salvation. _Finally_ they were going out. And how long had it taken? Oh yeah, damn near 8 years.

"I know!" she screeched back at her. They stood and bounced as they hugged. Lorelai pulled them apart for a moment. "Wait, are we or are we not dating in the same gene pool?"

"Oh, we definitely are."

**(A/N-The next chapter will be in the 'present-ish' time. I realized later that I said that chapter two was two years prior to chapter one, I was wrong, just one year, it's Freshman year at Yale. So stay tuned!)**


	7. Soon Enough

**A/N-The reviews…again, I love you all. Last chapter was mighty fluffy, but we're about to get a little grisly, just so you know…**

**Someone5: there you go again with the first review! No, I don't think I would very much…LOL. Thanks so much! You made my horrible weekend SO amazing.**

**Spinaround, Lizzy11120, JanelleRae, Hallon-Thanks so much! Love the reviews.**

**  
Bittersweetbloodbaby-Yes, I could see this becoming problematic, but thank you. **

**Your advice is definitely going to heart, you are my inspiration for this chapter! Hope you like it!**

**Desert Fox-Yeah, Alan Rickman would be a good one too. But Liam Neeson is one of the many loves of my life, and I could see Jess being into Schindler's List.**

**Kat461-Oh, my goodness. Thank you for the sweetest review! But I'm not that great, I can't even begin to compare to AS-P. But thank you! I love it!**

**Soph-Oh, you just wait. There is much, much more to college life. It'll get a little more, realish, as we go on.**

_October 22nd, 2004_**I think**_Yale__University__New Haven__Connecticut_

Jess sat on the end of his bed, holding steadfast to the box of cigarettes in his hands. It had been nearly a year. These were the cigarettes in his hand when he found out. He was about to go on break, and the phone rang.

A year ago minus two days, Jess had gotten the single most important phone call of his life.

"I don't get it," he said, his voice shaking, to no one in particular. He was alone in his room. It was too early for classes but too late for sleep. Something had dragged him awake and he refused to go back to bed feeling this way. "You were _horrible_ to me, and yet I still sit here and wonder why it happened."

Jess stood up and still held to the box, going to his window.

"There was never a moment that I lived with you when I didn't wish I was someplace else. But when they called," he continued. His voice broke noticeably and he paused for a moment, trying to collect himself despite the fact that he was alone. "When they called, I wanted to cry for my mommy."

A year ago, minus two days, Liz had died.

"I can hardly remember calling you mom, let alone mommy. But there it was. I wanted to curl up in your lap and have you tell me that everything was going to turn out fine." Jess threw the cigarettes back into his trunk, disgusted. "It's not like you'd ever even come close to doing that, either. Just makes it harder to understand why I miss you so much," he said, gnashing his teeth together as he spoke angrily at the foggy pane.

He let out a shaky sigh, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he replayed pieces of the phone call in his head. He was coming from behind the counter when the phone rang at Luke's so he ran around to answer it. He remembered hearing something about New York and a hospital and the next thing he knew they wanted him to come because something had happened to Liz.

"Christ Liz," he said, trying to blink away the tears. "It's not like you could've even gone out like yourself. You miscalculated and drove into a ditch. You couldn't have drunk yourself into that early grave? Can't you even _leave_ me the right way?" Jess almost screamed, his body finally giving way to the tears. He fell to a sitting position on his bed, holding his head in his hands, doubled over crying.

He rocked back and forth slightly, trying to lose the images, trying to forget what had happened, praying it was a dream. He calmed a little, regaining pieces of normal breathing.

"It just isn't enough," he mused, shaking his head. "It isn't enough to admit now that I needed you. I didn't, and I don't. I needed a mom, you couldn't be." He paused. "Did you even think about maybe what I needed? Did it occur to you what this would do to me?"

He checked his watch as he wiped away the tears. It was almost time to go to his first class. He looked up, as if she had been there the whole time, listening to him. "We're never going to be even, you know? I got _here_ without you," he chewed over as an afterthought. With that, Jess got up, grabbed his shower stuff, and walked out the door, the box of cigarettes still lying in his open trunk.

xxx

Luke awoke to the sound of his cell phone ringing (he had finally given in and bought one) from the bedside table. He felt around for it and opened it to hear Jess on the other end of the line.

"It's almost been a year," he said, sounding crazed.

"Well, you know how to get a guy up in a good mood," Luke said as he tried to wake up. He rose from the bed and padded out into the hallway to avoid disturbing Lorelai.

"Isn't it a year? It was the…the 24th, wasn't it?"

Luke sighed a little painfully. When Jess had answered the phone, it felt like someone had ripped out Luke's heart and did the tango on it. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd say it was the 24th."

"Oh, I was just, you know, checking," Jess said, seriously rationalizing.

"Jess," Luke started, rubbing his eyes. "You gotta stop thinking about it, kid. You said it yourself, she was practically nobody to you. Get to class, stop worrying, okay?"

"Yeah," Jess said, staring at his feet. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks Luke." Luke hung up the phone and slouched against the wall. Jess had never been the same. Jess would never be the same. But maybe one day he'd stop worrying about things that had already happened.

Lorelai lay in bed, listening to Luke's muffled voice from behind the door. He hadn't gotten a phone call like this from Jess in a while, but she could feel the anniversary sneaking up on them. Rory became a little tenser, Luke got emotional, and Jess got antsy. It was hard time, all too close to Halloween. Lorelai had never thought that she'd see Jess cry, but all the same, she had been there drinking coffee when it happened. And she swore he almost had a full-on breakdown.

And that, my friend, was just too much to handle at seven.

xxx

Rory paced her room, feeling like a trapped animal. She had late start classes, Jess was gone (and in his own world for that matter), and quite frankly, after all of that, being bored wasn't even at the top of her list. Being scared was.

Jess was distant, and for good reason. It'd almost been a year since Liz died. A year. They'd only been together for a little over a year.

And this was why Rory was pacing.

xxx

"It's Friday," Paris stated as she walked out into the common room where Rory had been playing with a deck of cards.

"It is."

"What time is it?"

"Probably around seven."

"You do know what this means?" Rory looked up at Paris with her eyebrows drawn together.

"I actually don't."

"We both had a rough week, and there are all sorts of drunken festivities planned for tonight. We are partying, my friend."

"Paris, I really don't think I'm in the mood nor have the patience to deal with the people in this dorm."

"We can leave the door closed."

"Woah, someone's desperate."

"I'm exhausted. You have been in a mood for the past few days, and your boy toy has understandably been standoffish. If Tawna doesn't stop clucking around here, I'm going to send her to a farm, and Janet…is Janet." Paris took a breath. "So I vote, that we all go out, be a little destructive, and then feel like crap for the rest of the weekend."

"I can only afford to feel like crap tonight. Jess needs me this weekend. He's been really upset lately and I need to be around for him," Rory said as she put the cards back in the box and stood to talk eye to eye with Paris.

"Not a problem," Paris said, grinning ear to ear. "Now for you clothes…," Paris said, disapprovingly.

"What about my clothes?" Rory said, looking down at her jeans and MTV t-shirt.

"We're _partying_ in a dorm. Surely you can't be seriously considering wearing that."

Rory walked away and stalked off into their room. "You're insane."

xxx

Paris and Rory walked into the chaotic hallway. Paris started to immediately immerse herself in the nightlife, while Rory went quietly in search of other people. Though she, in the back of her mind, knew she was looking for Jess, she was more than sure that she wouldn't find him there. Jess not only didn't party, but she imagined he had probably locked himself in his room again. And all that did to Rory was make her remember what had happened. While it made her livid, she tried hard to concentrate on the future, on the present, on the not-so-distant past.

In the midst of her thinking, she grabbed a beer and walked up behind Paris.

"What are we doing?" she asked, trying to sidetrack herself.

"Talking." Paris took a long look at Rory and saw the frailty of her smile and the false content in her eyes. She sighed. "Go find him, but come back later."

Rory let out a breath and put the beer down on a table, jogging out into the Halloween air. If she couldn't save him, she could save herself.

She slowed the jog to a walk as she approached his dorm, quietly assessing the intelligence of her plan. She had experience with this situation, and as much as it pained her to live with it, it was there. And she knew she had a chance of failure by walking into his room and trying to make him feel better. Jess never responded to treatment, not of any kind. If a doctor ever had him under his care, he'd have to let Jess argue himself out of being sick.

Jess could tell from the way his soul seemed to hum that Rory was outside of his door, thinking hard about something. It made him want to break down again, the fact that he had made her question her own judgment. But he couldn't afford any more tears on any subject. Liz was gone, but Rory was here. He wasn't going to sabotage things with her because of someone who was gone.

Finally, Rory took out the key that Jess had made for her and entered the room. He looked up from his computer and gave her a small smile. It exhausted him, being happy. He was happy to see her, no question there. But he for some reason or another, didn't really feel like being happy.

"Hey," she said, smiling and bending down to kiss him. He responded warmly, glad to have genuine interaction for the first time all day.

"Hi," he said when they broke, a smile daring to spread across his face.

"How was your day?" he asked as he lowered the screen of his laptop and swiveled in his chair.

"Any day. Paris was trying to get me to party and I whined until she let me off the hook." Rory paused. "Are you all right Jess?"

He sighed, feeling a little more distraught. "I think I will be." She pulled him to his feet and wrapped him in a hug, playing gently with the hair at the base of his neck.

He sighed again, but much more content this time. "Rory?" he asked softly.

She nodded for him to go on.

"Don't leave." She nodded again.

xxx

"So basically I said to him, 'kid, you gotta stop thinking about it.' I'm just worried, he's never been the type to dwell," Luke said over the phone to Lorelai. He was bussing about the diner, stretching the cord of the receiver (no, he still hasn't invested in a cordless for either floor of the building) to all lengths of the room.

Lorelai twisted her mouth into a shape of confused worry. She didn't know Jess all that well still, but she knew him well enough to know that the fact that he had been calling Luke at all hours of the morning because he wanted to confirm the anniversary of his mother's death wasn't a good sign.

"I guess we gotta let him figure this one out," Lorelai said as she adjusted her phone on her ear.

"I hope he's okay."

"He will be. I'm making Rory drive him here on Monday so that we can keep an eye on him. He just needs to be normal for a while."

"While Rory has that effect on him, Star's Hollow actually doesn't, Lorelai."

"Well, I guess the real plan is to confuse him for a few hours."

"He could use a distraction."

"I kinda figured."

xxx

Rory and Jess stood there for a while, wrapped in the hug, trying to understand what the other meant by it. Rory meant for it to be comforting. Jess, in a way, meant the same thing.

"Let's go," Rory said, reluctantly breaking the hug and wiping a few renegade tears from her eyes.

Jess hesitated. "Where?"

"Soon enough."

**(I know! Awful! Horrible grisly painful! But, it's essential to the plot. I promise, this is NOT angsty!)**


	8. Bend it Like Smokey

**A/N-Wow. Thank you for not thinking that last chapter was AWFUL! It pained me to write it, but the plot was, for lack of better term, pillowy. **

**Kylie1403-Thanks! We'll figure it out pretty soon. Evil? Yes.**

**Bittersweetbloodbaby-You are so sweet! You'll see soon enough where it's going. The next few chapters are in the past so we can build a little bit on well, the breakdown. BTW-I LOVE the newest chapters in Lights, Camera, Action! Soooo good. Cannot WAIT for the next chapter. And a sequel? I'm on cloud nine.**

**Spinaround-I cannot tell you what your reviews mean to me! I heart you!**

**The Desert Fox-Yeah, that's pretty much where I wanted to go with that. The guilt of their bad relationship had a lot to do with it.**

**Yeah, Alan Rickman is fairly famous, but, what can I say? I swoon for Liam. I think Kinsey, Love Actually, and Schindler's List are the only movies I've seen him in. You HAVE to see Schindler's List if you haven't yet though. It's phenomenal. And amazing quotes that you leave! Love it.**

**Kat461-Wow. You amaze me. Thanks so much for reading! That's the sweetest thing!**

**Moon,gates,slaying-Thank you! Sorry about the last ending, I sort of realized that every time I wrote a chapter I left little to the imagination. Don't worry, you'll "soon enough" be enlightened. **

**Kal's Gal-Thanks for the comment! Hope to see more of you!**

**Someone5-I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I wrote something angsty and icky. I much prefer a little bit of conflict here and there, and then LOTS of sweetness. Thank you! **

**Soph-Then I must be doing something right…lol. **

**Sanfrangiantsfan-I know! I hate writing him sad, but he'll be fine, I promise. I won't let Jess stay sad. **

**This chapter is going to take place in the past again, in case you find it easier to skip the part above this. **

Rory laid her bed the next morning, waiting for the snooze on her alarm to kick in and her day to start. Provided their first date had occurred on a Wednesday, she still couldn't have thought of a better day to have it. And now Luke and her mom were going to start seeing one another. It was all just too perfect. And this was what was supposed to explain the knot in her stomach.

It was an unexplainable sensation that things had peaked. She was afraid of the downhill slide that she was inevitable to make. True, now she had Jess, but getting him had seemed like more of a highlight than having him, sad as it was. The struggle was over and the sweetness of victory was something that, more often than not, was lost to Rory. And the fact that Luke and Lorelai had finally taken notice of one another left very little to the imagination for the future of Star's Hollow's "Most Likely to Be a Couple in Ten Years" couple.

She rolled over on her side again, staring at the clock, trying to gauge when the alarm would go off again. Just as she let out a sigh, it shook her from her stupor and she sat up straight, turned it off, collected herself, and opened the door.

"Mom?" she called through the house. She heard a small, almost feeble croak from up the stairs. She smiled and ran up the stairs, falling into bed next to her mother.

"Early," Lorelai groaned as she rolled in the opposite direction, taking the covers and her pillow with her.

"Up," Rory said as she took away the pillow that had been covering Lorelai's head. Lorelai gasped sharply at the light that streamed unexpectedly into her eyes and curled into a ball under the covers.

"Seriously?"

"Don't you want to hear about my date?"

"I heard all I needed to know about your date last night. Jess is a sissy girl who likes sappy, sissy movies, and you aren't deflowered. Sleep?" Rory lightly smacked her mother on the head and Lorelai smiled.

"There was much, much more to last night than that."

"Dirty," Lorelai said.

"You are a very strange little woman."

"Well! You started it!"

"Not at all disillusioning."

"Big words, Rory. It is currently six a.m. Come back in about 30 minutes."

"I'm awake now." Lorelai sighed.

"Talk."

xxx

"This isn't going to work," Paris said as she read over an article that Madeline had written about the women's soccer game on Monday. She flipped the page angrily and Madeline and Louise exchanged a look. "You have to stop ignoring every play in the game."

"All I paid attention to were the plays."

"No, all you paid any notice to were which girls needed to wear a different color eyeliner and the center who forgot to shave her legs."

"It was like watching Smokey the Bear meets Bend it Like Beckham."

"Well, adding in a simile with that level of creativity would've kept this article from being complete crap."

"You won't let me report the men's sports anymore. You get what you ask for."

"Actually, I don't. I asked for a suitable article. Simple even. Just to humor some parents who think that their kid is God's gift to Chilton. And all you can manage to say are some major plays and who scored what goals? Madeline. You forgot to say who actually _won_ the match!"

"It's implied."

"You know, actually, nobody goes to soccer games anyway, Paris," Rory said as she rubbed her temples, with her eyes squeezed shut.

"That's why we report it, Gilmore. Wake up," she stated as she lightly smacked her gavel to the table.

"Christ almighty, Paris!" Rory whined loudly as she raised her head to look angrily at the student body president herself.

"Finally," Paris sighed. "Respect." She looked down at Rory suspiciously.

"Can I help you?" Rory said, annoyed.

"I'm just wondering why you're so…drained. Normally you're perkier than all sin."

"I didn't get in until late."

"Wait, be quiet. What Rory?" Louise said, hushing Madeline with a wave of her hand. "Out late on a week night? Sketchy."

Rory blushed. "Not really."

"For the love of-," Paris started, but was cut off.

"Quiet," Madeline said. Paris looked taken aback. "Continue," she said, her gaze falling on Rory.

"I went out on a date," she said, blushing even more. Louise motioned for her to continue as they leaned forward to hear her better. "With a guy from Star's Hollow."

"Who?" they squealed simultaneously. Paris rolled her eyes at Rory and slumped down into her chair.

"Star's Hollow's resident James Dean," Paris said with her arms crossed defiantly.

"Bad boy," Madeline said, giving Louise a knowing look.

"His name is Jess. He likes to read and used to cause a lot of trouble around town. Paris hasn't known him since he got back from New York."

"And from the big city," Louise added.

"Born and raised," Rory said, trying to alleviate the interrogation.

"He got shipped here, because he caused too much trouble, shipped back because he broke the Ice Princess here, and shipped back here yet again because he wanted to come back for her."

"He's not computer software that you 'ship' places," Rory said, glaring at Paris. "He moved back because he promised he'd stop getting into trouble."

"A refined bad boy. We're moving to Star's Hollow when we graduate," Louise said to Madeline.

"At any rate," Rory said, interrupting their musings. "I got in late, I'm tired. Can we wrap this up?"

"Definitely," Paris said, regrouping. "Rewrite the article, and you can start with the men's tennis match in a refresher course in how to pay attention," she said, glaring at Madeline.

Paris wandered up to Rory at her locker after the meeting, nonchalantly leaning against the one next to it.

"So. You went out with him," Paris stated.

"I did."

"How'd that go over with Lorelai?"

"Shaky at first. She made fun of me for a while because he took me to see Love Actually."

"Please be joking."

"It's actually a really good movie."

"You're not kidding."

"Swear I'm not."

"I find that hard to believe."

"And my mom's going out with Luke now."

"Diner man?"

"And uncle of Jess. It's all very twisted if you think about it too long. I prefer not to dwell on the subject for fear of nausea."

"So if your mom and Luke got married-," Paris started.

"No! See, you think about it too long, it gets icky."

Paris was silent for a few seconds as Rory finished packing her backpack and started to close the locker door.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?" Rory said, looking for a way to leave sooner rather than later.

"Jamie asked me to spend Thanksgiving with his family."

"Paris! You should do it!"

"Should I? Because while the whole family bonding thing is very lost to me, I still feel compelled to experience once or twice before I actually die."

"Paris," Rory said, grabbing Paris by the shoulders, shaking her from her rant. "Just go. Have fun."

"You got it," Paris said, grinning largely and walking down the hallway.

xxx

"If you do not stop taking hour long breaks, I will very unceremoniously kick your ass to the curb," Luke hissed as Jess and Rory came down the stairs from the apartment, looking mighty guilty.

"Unceremoniously and everything? Gee Uncle Luke, with this town, you'd think they'd throw a parade every time someone walked across the street," Jess commented, sneering all the while as he pulled on an apron. In the meantime, Rory had taken a seat at the counter, going for her coffee cup, which she could now feel was frigid. Jess shot her a warm look that made her flush from her toes up.

He took away her cold mug and she smiled thankfully as she checked her hair and the buttons on her blouse. She and Jess hadn't gotten quite that far, but one appraising look from Jess usually made her question her decency.

He put a fresh cup of coffee in front of her as he walked by to take a couple's order.

"Aren't you just full of piss and vinegar today," Luke said when he came within chiding distance again. Jess shrugged him off and walked by, grabbing the coffee pot as he went.

"Which is different from yesterday…?"

"You're a hopeless case, you know that right?" Luke said as he walked back into the kitchen. Jess smirked at Rory and she chugged her coffee happily. Looking up briefly, she noted that it was almost five.

"Child? My first-and-only born? Is that you?" Lorelai croaked as she walked into the diner, clutching her stomach in exaggerated starvation. Rory smiled and Jess walked past her, shaking his head.

"Get over here and stop being such a melodramatic," she said, waving her over.

"I got through today with TWO cups of coffee. Not twenty-two, not forty-two, not even twelve. TWO. If I do not get more caffeine into my system in the next ten minutes, people may think I'm a recovering heroin addict and throw me into rehab with George Carlin and that weirdo from the Backstreet Boys," Lorelai said as she begged Jess with her eyes. He set a cup in front of her and tousled Rory's ponytail as he walked behind them again.

"God forbid," Rory said.

"Wait-," Lorelai said after a few moments of silence. "I told Luke that I'd go out with him on Friday, didn't I?" Lorelai said, her eyebrows drawn together guiltily.

"You did not!" Rory said indignantly.

"I think I did. I'm so sorry babe, but I can't break this date! You know how much it means to me."

"Does this mean I have to go there _alone_?"

"Unless…," Lorelai said, her gaze slowly following Jess as he bustled around the diner silently.

"Abso. Freaking. Lutely. Not. Do you know what kind of mental pain could be inflicted in three hours of Emily and Richard Gilmore versus Jess Mariano and Rory Gilmore?" Rory said, gesturing wildly.

"I'm thinking Sybil like tendencies in the post-trauma stage. You know, multiple personalities. But essentially I see a full recovery on all fronts on the horizon."

"Mom."

"Sorry. Well, who else would you take? Mama Kim wouldn't let Lane out of the house, especially to Hartford to someone's alleged grandparents for dinner. I'm out of the picture. You aren't willing to make Jess lose his new, unscathed, boyfriend countenance. I'd say you're on your own."

Rory sighed as she watched Jess ring up a customer moodily. They took their change and went steadfast out the door, probably rushed from the brooding, raven-haired boy who was now leaned against the counter, reading some obscure novel.

"I _really_ don't want to take him. Not yet. I mean, eventually they'll have to meet him, like at our wedding or something. But they don't even know about him yet. Let alone the fact that I would be bringing him over. And all they remember about Jess is that he drove the car that broke me."

"They do hold a solid grudge on that one."

"Wait!" Rory said after a moment, her eyes flitting open wider. "We're sick. I have a deathly flu and I can't walk. I simply cannot risk my health by driving all the way to Hartford," she said, hunching over in her seat, holding her stomach, and coughing.

"We tried that once. She may demand a doctor's note."

Rory held up a finger as to say, 'one moment,' and waved Jess over. He looked at her curiously and walked over.

"How can I help you?" he said, leaning down and looking at the two of them.

"How good are you at forging doctor's notes?" Rory asked, clandestinely.

"Hey!" Lorelai said, her eyes wide in surprise. "You two are bad influences on one another!" She contemplated them for a moment before looking back to Jess. "Well, are you? Spit it out Surly, we don't have a whole lot of time!"

Jess blew out a sigh on a smile. "You need it tomorrow? I'll have it ready in the morning."

Rory and Lorelai burst out laughing and Rory leaned across the counter to kiss him. "I knew there was a reason I was with you."

"Wow, ego trip for Jess. Be careful, my head may float away," he noted sarcastically.

"I think you'll be fine."

xxx

"You know what?" Lorelai said as she and Rory walked into the house noisily. "I think I may like Jess a lot more than I thought I did."

"You only say that because he's going to get us both out of a night at grandma and grandpa's."

"Well, can you blame me?" Lorelai looked at the phone as it started ringing and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Lorelai?" Emily asked.

"Senior or junior?"

"Lorelai, be serious."

"You got it."

"About tomorrow night for dinner…," Emily started.

"Actually, Rory and I kinda caught a little flu-bug that's been going around. I don't think we'll be able to make it tomorrow," Lorelai said in mock apology.

"That's terrible! I didn't know the flu went around so early in Star's Hollow."

"It was sort of a Kirk thing. He went to a film festival in Saskatchewan and he brought it with him," Lorelai deadpanned. Rory stifled a laugh and ran into the kitchen.

"Ah. I see. Well, I expect to see you next week then."

"We'll be there," Lorelai said. The conversation closed at that and Lorelai found Rory in her room, curled up on her bed laughing. She fell with her.

"I amaze myself so much."

**(Okay, yes I know, fluffy again. But this chapter is sort of a cushion for the next chapter. Coming soon, I promise, my muse is back and kicking! Next chapter we've got Lorelai and Luke's date and much, much more! And I live for reviews of all kinds!)**


	9. Well kettle

**A/N-Thanks for reviewing. I know the last chapter was a filler, but I didn't want to go from angsty to angsty like that, because pretty quick here it's gonna want to get icky again. **

**Kat461-My most loyal and amazing reviewer! You make my head so large! But thank you, I love the encouragement. **

**Bittersweetbloodbaby-SOOO glad you like it! Thanks! Any advice is WELCOME, as you know. ****Hollywood**** Hearts looks promising, I love your writing. **

**Petitos grasshoppertje, spinaround, bunk 64, UnDiScOvErEdAuThOr, Kal's Gal, sanfrangiantsfan (anyone who I've forgotten, feel free to hit me over the head with a sponge)-Thank you all SOO much for reviewing! **

**Moon,gates,slaying-Yeah, I know, awkward line, knew it when I wrote it. Forgive me? Present day chapters are coming in a few, I want to get a little more of the background stuff with Liz first. It won't take that long, I promise. Cross my heart.**

**Someone5-Aww, thanks so much! My other best and most loyal reviewer! I'm glad you're still hanging in with me after that angsty patch!**

**This one may end up being long like that last one. Again, season 3 past, future is coming on, coming on…(sorry, Gorillaz crossover, LOL).**

"You need help," Lorelai said to Rory as she ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off, looking for her hairclip. Rory stormed past her yet again, mumbling something about last week and under the coffee maker.

Lorelai, meanwhile, was dressed and ready to go for her date, sporting a pair of khakis and clingy, dark red, boatneck shirt. She had her hair in a loose, curly French twist and Rory was still running around in a robe. The really hard part was that they were expecting both Jess and Luke at the same time.

"Yes, I do need help. Pick out an outfit while I do my hair and makeup," Rory yelled as she ran into the bathroom, punctuating her statement by slamming her door. Lorelai laughed diabolically and walked into her room, swinging open her closet with a flourish.

"Darling daughter of mine, this simply will not do," she said to herself, shaking her head and sneaking upstairs into her closet. She picked out a medium-blue button down that was a little large but allowed for shape to shine through and a pair of Lorelai's beloved pricey jeans.

Rory walked out of the bathroom in record time with her hair in loose waves that came without work and rushed but shockingly immaculate makeup.

"All right, hit me, I'm in a hurry. You could dress me like a total porn star and I'm have so little time I'd probably wear it," she said, walking into her mother's room.

"I wasn't aware that you were so willing tonight. But we're not a far cry from porn star. We dipped into my closet." Lorelai had laid out the outfit on the bed for inspection and Rory scooped it up after a quick appraisal and ran down the stairs towards her room.

"Pretty!" she said as she made the last stair, narrowly avoiding falling on her butt. Lorelai laughed and walked downstairs to find her purse.

Rory closed the door to her room behind her and threw on the outfit her mother had handed her. It was loose but fit well and she buttoned it all the way up to start with. She considered it in the mirror for a moment, turning, finding something slightly wrong with the picture. She undid the top collar button and understood that she was on the right track. She undid two more and felt much better, so she put on her shoes and walked out for a final evaluation from Lorelai.

"Perfect!" She squealed when Rory walked out, messing around with the collar still.

"Yeah?" Rory said, unsure.

"Uh, of course. I've been dressing you for nearly as long as I've been dressing myself. One would think that by now I'd sort of have you memorized."

"I'll remember that."

"Are we talking passage in your memoir about your insane, old school rocker mother, or are we talking, like, dedication and several chapters?"

"Somewhere around the second one you said."

"Better than I thought."

"Do I look okay, seriously?" Rory asked, adjusting the cuffs.

"Honey, he's going to fall so hard on his ass he won't know which way is up."

"Perfect then." The doorbell rang and they looked at one another.

"You should've had a little brother for me so I could make him get the door so we can figure out what to do before we leave."

"Sorry, I was kinda busy taking care of you."

"But making me only took what, ten minutes? You could've cut Charlie's Angels out of the picture and had us a butler."

"Words of wisdom for the next generation. But you still have to get the door."

Rory scowled and walked to the door, calling over her shoulder, "I am the next generation!"

"Well, take it to heart then," Lorelai called as Rory swung open the door. Jess and Luke were standing stiffly at the door, not usually getting along at all, particularly not in a situation where women were involved. Jess stood with a scowl affixed to his face and had his hands casually stuck in either of his pockets. Luke stood oddly stiff leaning away from Jess and sort of into the doorway in a very Luke particular way.

"Hi!" Rory said to both as they perked slightly at the sight of her. Jess walked in first, his hand landing on her waist as he kissed her cheek. Luke stepped in slightly and Rory moved back to allow them access.

"Hey. Your mom ready yet?" Luke asked as he stood off to the side, looking uncomfortable.

"The hat must be a security thing," Jess said out of the side of his mouth to Rory. Luke shot him a dirty look.

"She's in the kitchen, sit down, I'll be right back," Rory said as she started backwards to the kitchen. Lorelai stood against the counter, wringing her hands.

"What's he wearing?" She anxiously asked upon Rory's arrival.

"Grey dress pants and white dress shirt. You're in the clear."

Lorelai let out a sigh and visibly relaxed. She observed Rory again as she peered out the door to the men sitting in the living room, on opposite sides of the couch.

"You ready?"

"Yup." They both drew in a breath and walked into the living room.

xxx

Rory and Jess sat together on a couch at the bookstore they had discovered in Hartford, each absorbed in their own book, but occasionally pointing something out to the other. Rory looked up again and bit her lip. Jess caught her.

"They're fine. Isn't she the one that's supposed to worry about you?"

"It's just, she's waited for this for so long, along with everyone else in town. Now it's happening, and if it doesn't work, it'll crush her and everyone who cares. My mom doesn't do well with pressure or real emotions," Rory said, putting down her book and turning to face Jess fully.

"Huh," Jess said, not really knowing how to digest this. She looked at him curiously and he knew he wasn't off the hook that easily. "I don't think I know enough about Luke to worry."

"He was so nervous," Rory said, grinning slowly.

"You didn't have to get ready in the same space as him. He took _forever_."

"Well pot, it's not nice to call the kettle black."

"I don't take that long!" Jess defended, a little bit jokingly. Rory laughed.

"I've known you to spend at least twenty minutes on this hair," Rory said, fingering a stray curl that had caught her eye. They smiled slowly at one another and Jess closed the space that they had allowed one another and kissed her softly. Rory entwined her fingers more into his hair, feeling painfully soft and cared for.

Jess pulled her close with the small of her back as his leverage and he felt the desire to sigh peacefully.

"You don't know where they went?" Rory said a few moments after they broke the kiss.

"No clue."

xxx

"So Michel says to me, in his usual condescending French sneer, "I should hardly think that the papers would be where they should be, I was gone all week." So I say to him, "Well, want to bet?" just because I'm, well me. And I lost the bet and now I think I owe Michel a pig or something weird," Lorelai rambled in the truck on the way. Luke smiled ironically from the driver's seat and downshifted at a light.

"A pig? Usually people sacrifice their firstborn child or a pet or their house or finances. You bet Michel livestock."

"Well, I figure that since my firstborn is also my only-born and almost eighteen, it would be in my best interest to bet something I wouldn't miss or didn't need."

"But you don't have a pig."

"I could have a pig," Lorelai said, pouting slightly.

"But you don't."

"That's not the point. In fact, I forgot the point a few minutes ago."

"A sign of a great storyteller," Luke joked, now actually laughing. The light changed and they pulled into a parking structure in Hartford. He took the tag from the machine and pulled into a nearby spot, opening Lorelai's door for her.

"Ooh, fancy," Lorelai said as she stepped out of the car. Luke rolled his eyes and they walked out of the structure and onto the sidewalk.

"Where're we going?" Lorelai asked.

"A restaurant."

"Which restaurant?" Lorelai wondered again.

"Just follow me," Luke said as he walked off down the street.

"Do you know where Jess was taking Rory?"

"I didn't even know Jess's middle name until a month ago when his grades came home in the mail and it was printed on the report card," Luke pointed out.

"Ah." Lorelai said. "What is it?" she asked, curiosity grabbing a hold of her.

"Would you believe it? It's Joseph. It's the most random name. I mean, sometimes the name has some significance to the parents, but I swear Liz probably named him after some guy on a soap opera."

"I almost named Rory after a TV show. She's really lucky that she put me through so much pain that I named her after myself or there could've been some serious problems in her future," Lorelai said as they walked comfortably together down the street.

"What'd you almost name her?"

"I promised her and myself that I wouldn't bring it up for a very, very long time after she gets married so that the person she's with is stuck with her. That's how weird this name is," Lorelai said as Luke slowed in front of a cozy looking Italian restaurant. Lorelai stopped walking and stared at it, a slow smile growing on her face.

"What?" Luke asked, fidgeting in front of her.

"It's adorable," Lorelai said, in cheerful awe.

"Something I heard about once. I figure it wouldn't hurt to try it." Luke shifted. "I assume you like Italian food?"

"Do I drink coffee?"

Luke smiled and took her hand as he led her into the restaurant. "Excellent."

xxx

"I really don't want to go home already," Rory complained as Jess drove them back into Star's Hollow.

"You have no choice," he said jokingly.

"Well…," she said as she took the wheel from him and steadily started sending them veering in the direction of Luke's.

"Hey! This is almost as bad as backseat driving. Hands to yourself," he said, playfully slapping her hands away as he parked in front of the diner. She looked at him, disbelieving.

"I guess I'll keep that in mind when you try to lasso me into the apartment again," she said, her arms crossed over her chest and a playful smirk affixed to her face as she watched him pull the keys out of the ignition out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, I see how it is," Jess said, leaning across the seat lightly to brush his lips across her ear as he lowered his voice to a whisper. "I give you what you want and you still being like that. Fine, I'll keep that in mind." He started to pull away from her and Rory jumped like a lion and pulled him into a frighteningly sudden and passionate kiss.

"See," she said, her breathing slightly labored, "no hands." Jess smiled and opened the car door, dragging her out with him.

"You, Rory Gilmore, are impossible," he said, slinging an arm around her shoulders and steering her toward the front door.

"I do pride myself on it." Jess reached on top of the ledge above the door and took down the rusty spare key, slid it into the lock, and entered the diner with Rory's hand in his following his putting the key back into its place.

"You don't have a key to your own apartment?" Rory asked as she sat at the counter.

"Luke says the spare key is there for a reason, and that I should just use it," Jess said. He put on a new cup of coffee and deposited his coat on the other end of the counter.

"What if the spare goes missing?"

"That's the beauty of Star's Hollow. No one's ever far enough away from this place to worry about it." Luke and Lorelai walked in, hand in hand as well, looking a little guilty.

"Hey!" Rory said, turning to see what Jess had been looking at, to her mother.

"Hi," she said, sitting next to her. Luke moved behind the counter with Jess and went to the coffee pot.

"I just put another pot on, I figured you weren't far behind."

"Or you're dating the Princess of Caffeine."

"And you the queen," Jess said.

"Amen," Luke said, smiling discreetly.

"So wait," Lorelai said to Rory, meanwhile. "You guys went to a Hartford _just_ so you could go to a bookstore? Your kids are going to be _so_ weird."

"Hey now! We like books, that doesn't make us _weird_. Besides, kids are a _long_ way off," Rory said, gesturing lightly as she talked, tossing a look surreptitiously at Jess in the process.

"Uh, yeah, it does make you weird. No two people your age should like books so much that you're willing to waste a perfectly good date night reading at a bookstore in a different town."

"We didn't waste anything, you just don't want to hear about the rest of the night," Rory said, her diabolic tendencies igniting.

Lorelai looked at her fearfully for a moment before she narrowed her eyes and leveled the playing field. "Right back at you."

"Ahh! Scarred!" Rory said, holding her head at her temples and shutting her eyes. "Mean!"

Lorelai laughed for a moment. Rory finally got over her hysterical emotional scarring and was back to normal.

"What did you waste a perfectly good date night doing?"

"Smoking crack and burning down houses."

"Ah."

"We went to this little Italian restaurant in Hartford that was _incredible_ and walked around for a little while."

"Small world."

"Smaller town. We're dating from the same gene pool, and going on dates in the same city."

"Weird. Paris the other day pointed that out to me and then tried to tell me how Jess and I would be related were you and Luke to get married. I really don't think I'll ever come to terms with how bizarre that is."

"And now I'm suddenly married. You and I are ahead of ourselves tonight," Lorelai said, shaking her head as a cup of coffee was placed before each of them.

"That we are."

"What are they doing?" Jess asked, somewhat frightened, out of the corner of his mouth to Luke.

"Planning our weddings, houses, naming our children, probably picking out a china pattern. I wouldn't be surprised if they start sketching wedding dress ideas on a napkin," Luke said casually. The phone rang and they looked at one another, holding their ground for a moment.

"Rock paper scissors?" Jess suggested.

"Dream on," Luke said, walking away. Jess scowled at his uncle's back and picked up the phone.

"Luke's," he said, leaning with his back to the diner.

"Is Jess Mariano or Luke Danes there?"

"You've got the first one."

"Is your mother Elizabeth Mariano?"

"Yeah. Where exactly are we going with this little "Six Degrees of Jess Mariano" thing?"

"Jess, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your mother has been involved in a car accident. We're at (**I'm making this up, tell me if it's real so I can be more creative**) Reddington Grace Hospital in Brooklyn, we need you to come down."

"What are you talking about, car accident? What happened? What's wrong with Liz?" He asked, his voice rising in panic. He could literally feel the adrenaline trip into his system, flooding his veins with terrified heat, his pulse quickening, his heart near breaking.

"We really just need you to come down to the hospital as soon as you can, bring your uncle if you can."

"Just tell me what happened to her!"

"Please, just come down to the hospital." Jess found his eyes watering and his vision blurring with tears. He put the phone to his chest and turned to find Luke, finding instead, everyone staring at him, somewhat apprehensive.

"Luke, some hospital in Brooklyn is calling. Something happened to Liz," he said while handing the receiver to Luke.

Rory looked at Jess, trying to read his emotions, but finding little readable. He had a vacant stare that sent chills through Rory. He had paled quite intensely and his eyes were watering.

"Jess?" she asked.

"What are you talking about? We live in Connecticut, it's not as simple as driving. Just tell me what happened to her," Luke said, all the while.

"Jess?" Lorelai said, seeing the look in Jess's eyes deepen as he slumped against the back counter.

"Let's go," Luke said, pulling Jess along, the color fully drained from his face. He hung up the phone without a word only moments before and walked around the counter, kissing Lorelai briefly on the cheek before grabbing his coat. "Get in the car," he said to Jess as he sent him out the door.

"Luke, what's going on?" Rory said, actually scared now.

"Liz died."


	10. Coming to Terms

**A/N-Long chapter ahead, and it will be grisly. After this it'll get better, I promise. Lane, Paris, and Dave action probably next chapter. Hang in there with me, I will stay true to the Romance/Humor genre. But, as I understand it, the plot required some shaking up.**

**Kat461-You, m'dearie, are wonderful. What would I do without you? **

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**Everyone else-Thanks for taking the time to read and review! I REALLY appreciate it!**

"Liz what?" Lorelai sputtered as Rory rose to her feet and went for the door, running blind.

"Liz got in a car accident. If there's a fatality they're cryptic as all hell about it and I got them to tell me. She's in Brooklyn, we've got to get going." He looked to Rory for a moment. "Let us do this, we'll call." Rory stopped in her tracks, the frustration flooding furiously into her veins, powerful as anything she had ever experienced.

"He is out there and he needs somebody!" Rory said, yelling slightly, gesturing frantically to the door. "Do you know what this has got to be doing to him? His mother, who kicked him out of the house because he was too much work, is _dead_."

"Rory," Lorelai said, taking her daughters arm and sitting her back down in the chair. "Listen, they're going to go to Brooklyn. I promise you that you will hear from one of them," she shot Luke a threatening look, "and that Jess will be _fine_. Honey, you gotta let him deal this one on his own."

"But what if he can't?" Rory said, close to breaking into tears.

"Then he will go to somebody for help. Rory, if you don't sit down and let him figure this out, he'll never come to terms with it." She turned to Luke. "Go, call when you know more, and make sure that Jess is okay. Don't make him go if he can't."

Luke nodded knowingly and slipped into his coat as he walked out the door, the bell ringing brusquely against the situation.

"I can't stand this," Rory said, pacing and wringing her hands.

"Babe, we can't just barge into this, it isn't our situation to handle," Lorelai said, watching her daughter with a pained look.

Rory stopped and stared at her mother with realization, pain, and tears in her eyes. "It isn't his situation to handle either! She was _never_ there for him, and he shouldn't have to be there on his own. It's one thing for Luke to handle this, she was his sister. It's another thing for her forgotten son, who she sent away to said brother, to have to come and try to understand this. It's not fair, and I _refuse _to let him do it alone! If you don't want me to go alone, then come with me," she said while getting her coat on and standing by the door with the keys to the Jeep in her hand.

Lorelai stared back at her daughter, seeing the concern pour from her and reverberate around the room a few times before it died down. It hit her hard and caused Lorelai to rethink her judgment. While she trusted Rory more than anyone, she also knew things that young love would do to you. It would take away your brain and replace it with false declarations of love.

She let out a sigh and rose to retrieve her coat from the hook. "This isn't going to be something that'll just save him and make it better. This is grisly, way more than it is now."

"I know."

xxx

Jess sat in the car, staring at his hands. He couldn't turn and see people on the street, looking at him as he tried to see straight. He actually couldn't avert his eyes to see what he knew to be a fairly intense conversation going on in the diner. To see how his pain hurt her, to see how Luke couldn't even compose himself into wit. To see how Lorelai was pained with both.

"_Shit,"_ he thought, finally something swimming through the junk and beginning to push the evening into his subconscious. His date was wonderful, beyond anything he had dared to live through with Rory yet. His night showed promise. He remembered thinking that maybe later he'd be able to piss off Dean a little more.

Now he was sitting in the truck, staring at his lap.

He felt the void become interrupted when Luke opened the driver's side door and he slid into the seat, resting his head against the steering wheel for a moment.

"Can you do this?" he asked, his voice low and dangerously close to breaking. If there was one thing Jess knew that he couldn't handle, it was Luke crying, breaking down on him at all for that matter.

Jess hesitated. He wasn't sure his voice even worked anymore. It was a moot point anyway. He had to go. There was not an option involved. It was his mother, he answered the phone, he had questions that, while never to be answered, needed to be asked.

"Which do you want? The lie that I'll tell or the truth? Because they're the same word but oh so different," Jess said, looking up at Luke with what he hoped was stonewall, unemotional visage. Free of his internal war.

"You don't suppose I'll get the same answer either way?"

"Guess you might." They sat silent for a few beats of pregnant silence.

"What's it gonna be, Jess?"

Jess looked up at Luke again, his eyes mirror to the fire that was smoldering not far behind them. A fire of rage, a fire of confusion, a fire of passion (or something close to it) for the situation.

"I don't have a choice."

"You do too. You can turn around and pretend as if this never happened. You can stay here and keep your hunky-dory relationship kicking and live in Star's Hollow and maybe one day many years from now, you and I will go up to New York and handle this. Then maybe we can hold hands..., and skip. But you don't have to do anything."

"I'm going. She was still my mom. There were so many nights that I would sit up, thinking of ways to make her love me. Thinking up a new way to be a better kid, so maybe she'd want me. But guess what? I fucked up. I never kept a promise, I let her down, and more than anything, let her die thinking I was a disappointment."

"Hey-," Luke started, taking Jess by his shoulders, a grimace on both of their faces in tear suppression. "You are not a failure. You are not a disappointment. You are not worthless. You have more promise than anyone in your family ever had. You keep going the way you are you could do anything you want. You can't let the fact that she thought you weren't perfect ruin your life."

"I want to know why she thought I was so bad. What did I seriously do that was so different from any other kid on the block? I never killed anybody, I never owned a gun, I smoked cigarettes, read, and on occasion vandalized the school. What was so goddamned horrendously awful about me that constituted this? I need to ask that question before I can move on from this."

xxx

"They aren't going to be initially happy with us, you realize this?" Lorelai checked as she and Rory buckled themselves into the Jeep, disheveled. "They'll probably be angry in fact."

"I realize that." Rory sat in the car, ready to go, holding back tears. Lorelai sighed and unbuckled her. "Excuse you?"

"Do you want to go and talk to him?"

"Of course I do, but-," Rory said, cut off.

"But what?"

"Sometimes, when you have the best intentions at heart, talking to somebody in a grief period can be the worst thing."

"Uh, babe, it's Jess. You're the only one he actually talks to."

"Still! Mom, this situation is hard enough without me imposing."

"Then why are we?" Rory sat for a moment, looking at her mother unimpressed.

"Because. Whether or not he likes it, he needs me. And I won't let him go alone. And what about Luke? Liz was his sister. Luke is like my surrogate dad, I can't leave him alone with this either." Lorelai blew out a breath and turned over the engine. She saw Luke start the truck and slowly crawled out of the spot, keeping a cautious distance.

They started off on the highway, words staying few and far between, between both cars and their enclosed passengers. Mostly Luke asked Jess if he was hungry. Lorelai usually asked Rory the same, and asked her to change the radio station. Nobody dared to dwell. It was a matter of going to New York, confirming it, and whatever happened from there was a matter of pure decision.

"I suppose there'll be a funeral," Lorelai said as they crossed the state lines into New York.

"I would imagine." Rory sighed painfully. "These next few weeks are going to kill him."

"He'll end up being fine. This is going to be the hard part."

Five hours later, Jess, Rory, Lorelai, and Luke all walked out of Reddington Grace Hospital, all walking separately, looking and presumably feeling weary. None of them had spoken to one another within the last 25 minutes. Instead they opted to all listen to Luke's pen scratch across the surface of the release forms and Lorelai calling nearby hotels. Only one night, she had said. One night for one room, two for another. Rory wouldn't miss school, but Lorelai couldn't leave the inn. Luke had called Caesar and told him about the arrangement.

Jess had mostly sat there, looking vacant. Rory wanted nothing short of holding him there in her arms until he felt whole again. She knew better, but the desire still lingered on her fingertips, on the front of her brain, in the heels of her feet. She instead chose to sit next to him in the various waiting rooms, sending him supportive glances when the situation felt appropriate, standing nearby when he would let her.

He thought once that he had reached for her hand, but it could've been in his head. Jess wanted to hold her hand and let loose some of his pain while he did it. He needed a moment of normalcy. If only he could get his brain and his arm to cooperate.

Luke spent most of his night taking the reigns and keeping his head on straight. Liz had been his little sister. And while they had been distant, especially since their dad died, he still felt the blow of the loss. He chose to take it with a grain of salt, free his emotions and go about this in a very business like fashion. He didn't have the time or the mental capacity to handle this now. Maybe one day when he was polishing silverware after closing, a particularly difficult but endearing piece of flatware would let loose the realization, but until then, he intended on living in a funny form of denial, for everyone's benefit.

Lorelai had stayed close to Luke, squeezing his hand reassuringly on occasion. Upon their arrival at the hospital, Luke had sought her out. She played her role well, and appreciated that he was still letting her in, despite the fact that she wasn't sure why. Jess wasn't cold, but definitely colder than Luke. She saw a few exchanges of looks when the emotions had managed to settle momentarily, but other than that, they all sat in basic silence.

"We're staying at the Best Western down the street. Follow us, we'll find a parking spot in the structure next door," Lorelai said as she turned to the other three and pulled her keys out of her pocket. Her voice was scratchy from not being used, mistaken by Jess for a moment as being teary.

"Yeah…yeah, that's fine," Luke said as he ran his hand over his eyes and Jess stuffed his hands in his pockets. He rethought it and took a moment to take Rory's hand in his, giving it a squeeze. Rory looked up with a look on her face that showed nothing short of amazement and adoration, and Jess looked like a lost puppy, clinging onto Rory and her sanity as if they were his last links to reality.

"Yeah," Jess said, daring to smile, even a little. Luke and Lorelai hugged for a moment and let go, her giving him a chaste kiss to his cheek, he returning the favor and tapping Jess's shoulder.

"Let's go." Jess hugged Rory briefly and they went off to the truck, while Rory and Lorelai went to the Jeep.

"You know what?" Rory said to Lorelai, her heart lightening. "I get the feeling it's only uphill from here."

**A/N-Exactly. We're all good from here on out. Not as long as I anticipated, but longer than some. Read and review! Hope you enjoyed it.**


	11. Desperate Mornings, Desperate Moments

**A/N-Sorry for the length between these updates, school has been kicking my behind royally. I promise I'll try not to take so long from now on. **

**Bittersweetbloodbaby-Fluffmost definitely. I'm trying to rip the band-aid off and end up happy with this chapter. Hope to please.**

**Great thanks to--Spinaround, Kylie1403, Gilmore-Girls&Lost-fan, just hidden, moon,gates,slaying, LitGG1982, whatever13245, miloluver, Kal's Gal.**

**Music4mysoul-Thank you! I really hoped to have a family vibe with that chapter, glad you saw it!**

**GG1982-Your review made me smile so big! I can't believe that mine's the best you've ever read, it's my first and seriously mediocre. BTW-Your English was fine as far as I could tell, what's your mother language?**

**Kat461-You. Rock. I guess we're both at a loss :-D. **

Rory woke up a week later in a hotel room. They stayed in the same hotel that they had stayed in the night that Rory had insisted she and Lorelai followed Luke and Jess to Brooklyn. They had gone home for a few days while Jess and Luke stayed behind to make funeral arrangements. Rory somehow had managed to make it through the school week. She wouldn't admit that she hadn't learned a thing. In the words of the Tralfamadorians, so it goes.

Lorelai had had a similar week. Having a very Sookie-ish Sookie and a very annoying Michel were wearing on her nerves quickly. Not to mention that she had been deprived of Luke's good pancakes for nearly a week. When he got back she was demanding them, no matter if he was mourning or not.

Luke called on Wednesday to inform them of the funeral the next day. They drove up that night and checked into the hotel, Luke had rebooked them a room. Lorelai and Rory tried not to speak the entire ride. There's nothing good or right to say to someone on the way to a funeral. A comic relief can come off as insensitive and wishy-washy, Hallmark Card sayings can make someone seriously rethink the level of their enthusiasm for attending. Once or twice they stopped at gas stations for junk food, but they kept on going until they hit Brooklyn again.

Jess mostly sat on the makeshift balcony of the hotel room with a cigarette in his hand. Luke had felt bad enough for him that he ran out and bought him a few packs. The idea of it shocked Jess into a ten minute catatonic state. Luke wasn't in the room to witness this, but when Jess managed to become unfrozen, he laughed hysterically until he had another cigarette in his mouth.

He almost didn't pick up the phone on Monday night. He and Rory hadn't had a real conversation since their date on Friday. They had a stolen moment outside of the hospital before they departed. He wanted to call her room that night, but he figured she had gone right to bed. Lorelai had, but Jess didn't know that Rory stayed up that entire night, sitting in the bathtub (all the while with tears in her eyes), reading his copy of The Sun Also Rises that she had stolen almost unknowingly from his room, one day when he left her unsupervised in the apartment.

She finished the entire thing.

Cumbersome but adorable notes-in-the-margin and everything. That was what brought on the tears for real.

And he had spent the night, crying like a baby, sitting on the bathroom floor. Luke walked in a few hours later, when the noise seemed to subside. Mistaking this silence for slumber, Luke walked into the brightly lit room. Only to find Jess, still sitting on the floor, but no longer sobbing. His face was entirely tear stained, and tears still fell regularly and routinely from his eyes and onto his shirt, his lap, the floor, into his mouth, wherever they may fall.

Luke felt stupid with a blanket and pillow in his hand, ready to tuck him in inconspicuously and slip back into the other room, fall asleep, and know that Jess was alive but tired. Instead he came to find the boy in misery. Complete hopelessness. Well-rounded, fully matured despair. And Jess did nothing but stare at Luke for a minute, his eyes reflective, let a few more tears fall, accept the blanket and pillow, accept the extinguishing of the light, and fall asleep there, in a pool of his own grief.

When he got the nerve to call Rory on Monday, she was lying atop her bed, trying hard not to think about Jess and their lack of recent conversation. The phone ringing she saw as a good distraction and leapt from her bed. Their conversation managed to last two hours. Two hours of basic conversation, smart-ass remarks, and cute little nothings that managed to satiate them in saccharine until the funeral. After that, they could actually try to figure things out. For now, they knew it had to be all right if he could joke about The Fountainhead and she could complain about Hemingway. Generically true of them, but true nonetheless.

So when Rory awoke on Friday morning in the hotel room, beside her mother, squinting against the faint morning light, she felt the despair of the day on her, heavy as a blackout curtain.

She didn't know that this would be one of the last desperate mornings.

For the first time in a long time, Rory had dressed in just a tank top and panties to sleep. She knew all too well the hotel sheet mantras and the risks that she was probably taking by being only partially clothed, but she couldn't stand the way the fabrics felt from her pajamas that she had brought. They had felt like home, and she understood that she wasn't.

Jess, just down the hallway, slept in the second bed in the room, across the way from Luke who was sleeping soundly. Jess probably hadn't slept a full night in a week, but the idea of that wasn't wearing on him as much as the idea that this needed to be it. He needed to get this over with; say goodbye and move on.

This, he vowed, would be his last night in Brooklyn.

Jess finally whipped off his sheet and comforter, rising to shower. Halfway into the bathroom, he realized that it was 5:30 in the morning. Without thinking of this fact as reason to _not_ go knocking on the Gilmore's door, he took a keycard, put it into the pocket of his-God save him-flannel pajama pants, and slipped silently out the door.

Four doors down, he saw the tray from their late-night meal last night. He knew it was them automatically, they were the only room on the floor that trusted food from a hotel in Brooklyn. He also refused to acknowledge the fact that he was shirtless, and instead started steadfast towards the door.

Inside, Rory was having an internal battle on whether or not to get out of bed and start getting ready. The funeral didn't start until 9:30, which not only meant that she would have to drag Lorelai out of bed, but it wouldn't hurt to be ready beforehand. Regardless, her Gilmore tendencies told her that anyone who leaves bed at 5:30 in the morning without good reason is shunned led her to instead lay there and stare at the wall.

Then there was a knock at the door, faint enough that it wouldn't awaken Lorelai, but sudden enough that it shook Rory to full consciousness. She went immediately to the door, not caring that she wasn't wearing pants, and undid the security chain to find Jess standing there, looking unreasonably tired.

"Hey," he said, smiling minutely when she caught his eyes. He saw her fashion the chain so it held the door open for her while she stepped out into the hallway, wrapped her arms around him, and entangle her fingers into his mess of undone hair.

Rory had never just set herself onto somebody so suddenly. Everything Rory did was methodical, set out, and calculated. She never took a step without thinking it through. Often time, there were lists involved. But for some reason, something snapped inside of her heart, held taught by missing him and his presence. His smile so reassuring.

"You are so strong," she whispered, her voice breaking tremendously as she uttered the words, so unknowingly dear to him. He blinked rapidly as he wrapped his arms around her too. Shocked at her lack of clothing and her sudden attack, his senses went wild, causing the smartass in him to make a prize appearance.

"You're making me sound like a girl," he said, smiling at her, trying to get her to a happy place. He could tell the pain that everything going on had caused her, and he knew that no matter what she said that he was a part of it.

"Shut up. You are holding up so well Jess. Provided it's 5:30 in the morning and you're awake for virtually no reason, you're doing so much better than anyone else would've done. I envy you."

"Don't." They stood there for a minute, holding one another strongly.

Rory always knew that their relationship could go one of two places under stress. Either it would go into the gutter because Jess would close himself off and shut her out, even though she and he would both know that he didn't want to. Or it would flourish because he would trust her.

Jess's strength had taught Rory to savor her victories and pick her battles. So she loved him even more. Her victory had been had, now she could sit back and watch it mature, love every waking moment of it, and work for the best like she always did. No more of this, "the battle's already been won" bullshit.

"But I do," she insisted, squeezing him tighter. "I don't get how, I, who have suffered zero losses in my life can find it so hard to just love somebody, but you, with as hard of a life as you've had, can open up to me and just want to be happy."

He kissed the top of her head and tucked it under his chin. "You learn to savor the small victories and slowly chip away at the larger ones."

xxx

Rory and Lorelai entered the funeral, already emotionally stripped. Rory had stood in the hallway with Jess until Luke frantically opened the door, looking for him. When he found him he dragged him back into the room to get ready and greeted Rory a good morning and told her that she needed to wake up Lorelai.

By the time that they were ready, Luke and Jess had already left after many warnings. They finally piled into a cab and sat in silence, each processing separate thoughts. Rory had spent most of the cab ride thinking about what Jess had said. _Savor the small victories and slowly chip away at the larger ones_. Isn't that what she had done all along? Slowly chipped away at the victory of Jess and enjoyed the stolen moments?

Then it dawned on her that she hadn't. Anytime that something small but good had happened to them prior to their relationship, she ran. Whether it was to Dean or to Washington or her mother, she was constantly trying to escape the small victories. Now she had the large one, and she knew the way this time.

Lorelai was wondering what was going through her daughter's head. She had been so peaceful since her early morning rendezvous with her lover boy, but she was past suspicion. She knew better than to assume that because Rory was with Jess that they were doing something that they weren't supposed to.

More than anything, Lorelai thought that the peace was brought on by faith. Something that Lorelai had been in serious need of for quite a while. She and Luke had been at odds for a few days. The stress he was under was unimaginable and he had frankly had issues with the fact that he was supposed to be in a relationship. He promised himself that when he was out of New York, it had to work.

The funeral went by in a blur, and before anybody knew what was happening, they were on their way back to Star's Hollow.

"Home! Salvation!" Lorelai called when she opened the front door to their house and collapsed in the entrance hall, exhausted. She lay there for a moment, Rory staring at her, not amused. Finally, Lorelai stood up, brushed herself off, and went upstairs.

"Hungry?" Rory called, holding her stomach. They hadn't eaten anything that day but dry cookies at the funeral home, both too eager to get home.

"Luke's! I have to change, give me minute," Lorelai called. Rory went into her room in submission, dropped her stuff on her bed, changed into a pair of sweatpants and waited for Lorelai again.

While standing in the entrance hall, a thought occurred to her. What was she going to do about college? She couldn't very well leave Jess behind, and if she had to, she wasn't willing to venture out to Boston. With this thought floating in the airspace, Lorelai galloped down the stairs and went toward the door.

xxx

"You're back!" Lane called to Rory from across the street on the way to Luke's with her mom the next morning. Rory turned her head and smiled at Lane, who was risking her life, running across the street frantically to meet Rory and Lorelai.

"Lane!" Rory and Lane crashed into one another in a hug and stood there for a minute, reveling in their reunion.

Lane pulled back and examined Rory. "Was it awful?"

"Jess cried."

"I wanted to take a picture but Rory said people might frown upon it," Lorelai chimed in.

"Most people find flash photography offensive at funerals. Other than that?" Lane inquired.

"It wasn't _as_ awful. We just tried to bear it and move on."

"Are you hanging out with Jess today?"

"Tonight."

"Are you up for something this afternoon?" Lane said.

"Possibly. I'm pretty tired, we've done a lot of traveling in the last few days. We can grab some coffee and I can regale you," Rory said as she gestured off in the direction of the diner.

"Sounds good. Call you?"

"Definitely." Lane paused.

"I'm really sorry that you guys had to go through that."

"Don't feel bad for us, feel it for them," Rory said.

"Can you imagine losing a parent? I don't understand how you outlook can remain so exceedingly normal when your life is like that." Rory shook her head, now knowing the answer herself.

xxx

"Jess!" Luke called from the kitchen. Jess was behind the counter reading and pretended not to hear it. Suddenly he felt the back of his shirt grabbed and he was being dragged into the kitchen.

"Gee Uncle Luke, somehow I think child labor laws prevent violence on the premises," Jess said as he refolded his book and shoved it into his back pocket.

"You're my kid. And it doesn't count if you're not _actually_ working, Jess. There are customers, one of them is probably your girlfriend. Maybe you ought to wait on her."

"Are you actually condoning selective waitering?" Jess asked dryly.

"That's not what I said."

"Oh I see, you're more worried about my girlfriend's _mother _coming in here. Luke, if you're going to have ulterior motives, I'll gladly accommodate as long as I get forewarning."

Luke shoved him back out the doorway and behind the counter. "Quit being such a smartass." Jess smiled (which was the first time in about a week he realized) and walked back into the diner to find, surprisingly enough, Rory and Lorelai seated at a table much too large for the two of them, like usual.

He walked over with two mugs and the pot of coffee in his hands. Rory saw him coming and he bent down to place a gentle but intimate kiss upon her waiting lips and then set the cups in front of them.

"I thought we talked about these diner PDA's," Lorelai started again. "There is food being served in here."

"I'm sure Luke will be out in a minute to even the score," Jess said as he filled her mug and walked back behind the counter.

Rory looked at her mom, hopeful yet again. "It feels good to be back."


	12. Love Me Tonight

**A/N-Upon request, this next chapter is going to be from Yale. I already said things were going to get better. I'm thinking only a few more chapters for this story and then I'm going to start a new one for the series. And yes, the title will mean something.**

**Music4mysoul-thank you so much for reviewing yet again! You are my most loyal reviewer, I can't tell you what that means to me.**

**Thanks to Gilmore-Girls&Lost-Fan, spinaround, LitGG1982, riotgirllina, Kylie1403. **

**Kat461-I think I can feel my head swelling…yup, it is :-D. Thank you a million times, I promise to update soon from now on! **

**Collisionkiss-A little begging here and there makes my day.**

**Whatever13245-Thank you for taking the time to actually analyze what I've done, I honestly appreciate it. **

**Someone5-Thanks a million! Glad you're still out there.**

**Just hidden-this one's for you!**

Rory grabbed Jess's hand and dragged him across the courtyard, back toward her dorm room, him shuffling his feet, displeased.

"Jess, come on, help me out a little here," Rory said, slowing down and turning to speak to him.

"Let the record show that she is _forcing_ me to leave my dormitory to go to an unknown destination!" Jess said loudly, hoping another renegade student would hear and get caught in the flirty crossfire.

"Since when did we become a defense attorney?" Rory said, dragging him along a little further.

"Do you know what time it is?"

Rory checked her watch. "Ten."

"Ten is too late to be dragging me out of my dorm," Jess complained. Rory openly sighed and began to explain.

"You need a distraction. No two ways around it. Things will be fine if you just let them be fine Jess. I'm not going to drag you back to Star's Hollow tonight and feel free to lynch me if I ever try to take you back to Brooklyn. We're going to get ice cream and drive in circles." She smirked at the look of remembrance on his face. "Hopefully this time the four-legged furry things will be out of the street and your cone won't drip."

Jess actually smiled. "I promise I'll study when we get back," he said a little over-enthusiastically.

Rory looked at him suspiciously. "You weren't actually going to study, were you?"

"Chances were slim."

"What about now? Are you going to study when we get back?"

"Chances are non-existent. I may be an Ivy League-er, but there's not a chance I'm studying when we get back. Especially if I get to take you with me," he said, reaching out a hand to grab hers and pulling her to him, in the middle of the courtyard, in the middle of a Friday night blow-out party.

Rory felt nothing of the light and the sounds and the smells around her when he took her hand. He did this to her every time he laid a hand on her, no matter how long they had been together or how upset she was. He steadied the threat of the world taking her over and made everything seem like if she could hold onto him for just a moment longer she could conquer everything. Her demons, her fears, her failures.

Jess knew the affect that he had on her all too well. Rory made Jess feel electrified when the emptiness of everything around him threatened to lull him into the submissive pain. Instead she made every touch intensify, every sound seem sweet, every color seem incredible and unique. Jess no longer saw in an auburn sheen, Jess lived in Technicolor.

He pulled her close and settled one hand on the small of her back, the other resting around the middle. Their bodies were flush and she snaked her arms up around his neck, giving him a playful grin despite the fact that he was openly distracting her from her plan. Partly the grin was there because she knew that he was doing better, even if just for now. The rest of the grin was because she remembered all the ways he could make her feel and the reasons for all of them.

"Do I get to drive you car this time?" he asked quietly as he drew their mouths unnoticeably closer with every painfully intoxicating moment of it.

Rory smiled brightly, her laughter ringing in every word. "Not a chance." Jess quickly painted on a look of hurt and pulled back slightly.

"Ouch."

"Hey, last time you totaled it," Rory said, her every word getting quieter in direct correlation to how close they were getting. "Why take my chances?"

"Maybe it wasn't my fault last time. Maybe it was the piece of shit that what's-his-face built for you," he said, a slightly evil grin played across his face, now only a breath away from Rory's.

Rory thought back for a moment. "His name was Dean, and in retrospect it was kind of a piece of shit. Regardless, it drove _fine_."

Jess shook his head. "No, if I remember correctly it pulled just _slightly _to the left and sometimes shook when it got above ten miles an hour." He smiled at her trivial eye roll. He found every movement of her every being to be extraordinarily enticing, so at this movement he took it upon himself to close the space between them and kiss her.

Rory inwardly gave a content sigh. She opened her mouth to allow him the access they both craved and the feelings that were blazing off of her every nerve ending made her head swim.

He was going to be fine.

xxx

"Luke?" Lorelai asked upon entering the house. He grunted quietly to signal his presence and she entered the house. Still clueless as to his location, she called out again. "Marco?"

"Polo," he said from the kitchen. Happily Lorelai skipped into the kitchen to greet her fiancé. He was standing over the stove, cooking dinner as usual.

"Do you ever think one day our kids will be confused as to who wears the pants in the family?" she said, standing behind him and circling her hands around his waist.

Luke looked up, remembering that Lorelai had walked out of the room this morning in a grey dress that did nothing but make him crazy.

"You're in a dress, why would any child mistake that for wearing pants?" he wanted to know.

"I mean, you cook dinner every night, you're a billion times more tidy than I am, why wouldn't a kid think of you as wearing the second, less worky pair of pants?"

"I own a diner."

"You cook me dinner when I get home from work. I should cook you dinner."

"Number one, if you ever cook me dinner when I get home from work, I may just have to pass. I love you, but you can burn water. Number two, you are the most feministic charged woman I have ever shared a bed with. Why would me cooking concern you?" he said, turning to see her, but never breaking their contact.

Lorelai contemplated for a moment and then smiled. "Point well taken. What're we having?" Luke chuckled at her quick-achieved submission.

"Tortellini. Nothing special."

"Food is always special," Lorelai said, kissing him briefly on the lips before she went upstairs to change.

xxx

"Did you seriously just get Superman ice cream?" Jess asked Rory, looking at her like the kid on the playground who couldn't ride a two-wheeler. Rory smiled as she quickly licked the cone on the way back to the car, juggling her car keys.

"I love Superman ice cream! It's all pretty and yummy…," she said as she stuffed more of it into her mouth.

"It looks like a cartoon threw up," Jess said as he buckled himself in and licked a renegade drip.

"Well, you went all boring on me and got chocolate. That's a waste of a cone," Rory said all-knowingly as she started the car.

"There is no such thing as a waste of a cone. Cones are proof that God wants us to be happy."

"I don't think that's quite the proof that God wants us to be happy."

"What do you think is then?" Jess asked.

"Books, Thai food, and the fact that you can't live without me," she said with a playful grin across her face through the moonlight. Jess leaned across the console and kissed her, tasting the mixture of ice cream and something all-too Rory on her lips, and it drove him crazy. His free hand took its usual place on her hip and tried to pull her closer in an attempt to ignore the fact that they were in a car.

Rory, thankful that the car was in park made an attempt while kissing him to reach out and touch him, but the fear of falling ice cream cones kept her feeling tame. When Jess finally pulled away, he looked at her, panting slightly. He smiled at her and licked away the ice cream that was threatening to run down his hand and Rory turned away, flushed. Never did he fail to elicit a girlish innocence in her that was quickly stifled by the simple fact that their attraction physically superceded any shred of shyness within either of them. Their mental relationship was the strongest yet though. They were connected at the core, and that made all the difference in the world. She and Jess shared more passion over ice cream than most couples ever would in bed.

Jess settled himself back in the seat, inwardly congratulating himself. After their first year of dating, it was a miracle that they even spoke anymore. After Liz had died, they become shockingly closer, even though now he wanted more than anything to try to push her away for fear of getting hurt. Throughout the year they had done their best not to let their pasts, Liz's death, or Luke and Lorelai's relationship get in the way. It was inevitable however, that there would be a few tangles.

So here they were, at 19 and still together.

"Jess!" Rory said again, getting aggravated at the smug look on his face and his obvious oblivion.

"Yeah?" he said, turning to see her.

"Take the wheel?" she said with a devilish slant to her smile.

xxx

"I know it's hard, but it'll only be for a few more _agonizing_ seconds," Lorelai said to Luke, who was forced to sit, eyes closed, on the couch while Lorelai frantically stuck pins into the dress that was currently adorning the mannequin that still had a home in the living room.

"I honestly do not understand what I see in you or why I see it," Luke said, sighing.

"You find me enchanting," Lorelai said dismissively as she stood to observe her work. Proudly, she stepped back and took Luke's hand from his face so he could see the masterpiece.

Luke opened his eyes quickly and took a moment to soak in the dress that was on the mannequin. It was a satin, auburn gown with a halter top and a plunging back. There was a sewn in piece of black satin on the side that offset the monotonous mindset of the red and seemed all too not-bridesmaid.

"Do you think Rory'll like it?" Lorelai asked, rushing over and smoothing out a few more wrinkles.

"I don't see how she couldn't," Luke said, taken aback.

"Are you sure it's not too…dark for a wedding?"

"They're musicians. And you followed Lane's instructions, so what could be wrong about it?" Luke asked clearly. Lorelai sat down and smiled in a drunken way, looping her arm through Luke's.

"I can't believe Lane and Dave are getting married. It seems like just the other day she was sitting on this couch and calling him and hanging up before he could find out it was her. And they're only 19, I mean, I'm 35 and _just_ getting married. It's so bizarre." She looked up at Luke for a beat as a smile formed on his lips and he nodded along to her ramblings. "Do you think Rory and Jess will get married?"

Luke looked down at her, a little shell-shocked. He regained his composure. "I have almost no doubt. They're happy together, they're as good as attached at the hip, and he's got a Gilmore woman tolerance that even _I _am yet to match. Not to mention Rory having tolerance for him. If they don't get married to one another, they'll just be torturing some other innocent people out there with one another."

Lorelai grinned fully. "You are so optimistic it makes me ill."

"I'm all about sunshine, daisies, free love, and all that hippie crap today. Must be in the water."

"Better than Jess was doing this morning," Lorelai said, frowning.

"I imagine he's fine now. He's still coming into town on Monday, right?"

"Plans haven't changed since I talked to Rory the other night. Even though she did let Jess punk out on dinner."

"Did she say she was going to bring him?"

"No, she refused profusely. But usually I wear her down without knowing it."

"Didn't she not go either?" Luke asked, somewhat confused.

"No, she didn't. It was just me, Emily, Richard, Ana the Maid, and the demons that possess the house."

"How did Rory get out of it?"

"The usual. 'But Grandma, Yale has me so busy, I just can't find the time to come to Hartford this weekend,'" Lorelai mocked in her high-pitched, sounds-too-much-like-someone-named-Bambi voice.

"Doesn't it?"

"School is code word for, 'I want to lay in bed with my boyfriend all day and make mad hot love until I get put in a history book for biggest lie to have sex in Yale history,'" Lorelai said, exasperatedly throwing her hands into the air.

"That's disgusting. Why did you just say that to me? You know I don't like discussing my nephew's sex life with his girlfriend's mother," said Luke, thoroughly disgusted.

"I'm just your fiancée. Don't think of me as Rory's mom. Besides, he was sleeping with Rory _and_ Shane in the apartment above _your_ diner where they serve _food_, _while_ you were downstairs working," Lorelai said, eyes wide, all knowing.

"You make me entirely ill." Lorelai pouted and he bent down to kiss her. She became submissive to his movements and he sighed.

"Do I still make you sick?" she asked teasingly.

"Shut up."

**(See! Getting better, I promised! Only about 3 more chapters in this story! Can you handle it?)**


	13. Absolute Fireworks, Entire Ecstasy

**A/N-So this chapter is from the Season 3 timeframe in all actuality, but the CD _Rebel, Sweetheart_ by the Wallflowers came out in May 2005. So you can imagine the confusion I am causing everyone AND myself. For now, pretend with me. I like my format, but it's causing quite a headache and it was an early on mistake that I have to make now. If I don't do this, the title will be entirely irrelevant. So, as I said, I'm brainwashing you, true. The Wallflowers' album, _Rebel, Sweetheart_** **came out in 2003ish (but I'm really lying because it came out this year). **

**This is obviously Chapter 13, so there'll be two more after this until I start my next story, which will be a directly consecutive sequel. I plan on this being a series of such stories. So DO NOT worry if I scared anyone with that last comment-the love does not end at 15 chapters, I plan on making this very long indeed. It's just easier for me to break it up into several, more attainable parts. I don't have a name yet, but it will probably be another song.**

**Serious thank you's to just hidden, whatever13245, Gilmore-Girls&Lost-Fan, spinaround, Gilmore-Buffy-Fan13, someone5, LexyLovinMilo.**

**Kylie1403-Trust me, there will be PLENTY, just not under this same title. I promise. You can hold me to it.**

**Kat461-I have to tell you that I always look forward to your reviews, you make me feel so special, I can't express how much I enjoy reading them. Thanks!**

**LitGG1982-Wow. You just encompassed every feeling I've ever wanted to have one of my stories give someone. Thank you.**

"Did you call me last night?" Luke asked Lorelai when she walked into the diner the next morning with Rory for their coffee fix before their days started.

"Uh, maybe? I really don't remember," Lorelai said, sitting gingerly in her seat at the counter.

"What do you mean, you don't remember?" Luke asked, confused. "How can you just forget picking up the phone and dialing a number?"

Rory spoke up. "Mom was liking Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Only it wasn't raining, she was sitting in the living room, staring at me while _I_ was on the phone with Jess."

Luke looked to Lorelai and raised an eyebrow, somewhat not amused.

"What?" Lorelai said in her defense. "It was a rough day, I needed to have a little rendezvous with Captain Morgan."

"That stuff will kill you," Luke said as he poured her coffee and the moved on to Rory's waiting mug. "I didn't think Jess did anything but sleep when he came home."

"Other than work, no. He mostly slept, but we were on the phone for an hour or two."

"Eternity!" Lorelai exclaimed.

"Do you have Tourettes or something?" Luke asked, breaking eye contact with Rory momentarily.

"That depends, do you _want_ me to have Tourettes?"

"I think that definitely entails a _dirty_," Rory said, grinning widely, although somewhat nauseated.

"Anyway," Luke said, turning back to Rory, "when was he on the phone?"

"Uh, from seven to eight or eight thirty, why?" Rory wondered.

"Nothing, I just could've sworn he was sleeping, there was music playing. Usually that means he's trying to sleep."

"You really should just invest in an iPod before he starts to scare other people when they're trying to sleep with the smash metal," Lorelai said as he guzzled her coffee.

"He actually wasn't listening to that kind of music. It was that crybaby stuff he was listening to the other day when you called. Uh, the Wildflowers?" Lorelai commenced immediate hysterics while Rory looked puzzled for a moment and then came up with a suitable response.

"You mean the _Wallflowers_. He only listens to them when he's awake." Rory looked at Lorelai and then back at Luke. "I'm not sure that the Captain has entirely left her system yet."

"Ah. Well, anyway, he was listening to that and I didn't hear him talking or rambling or grunting indirect responses so I assumed that he was asleep."

"Nope."

"They were talking about that band. The girly one," Lorelai said, still laughing somewhat.

"The Wallflowers are _so_ not girly," Rory said, drinking her coffee, pleased with herself. Lorelai looked at her doubtfully. "You just wait. Actually, hold on just a second, I'll go get it," Rory said as she slid off the stool and started for the curtain.

Just as Rory reached the threshold she heard Lorelai's parental gene kick in.

"Freeze offspring." She turned to Luke. "Is the girly band listener upstairs?"

"Last time I checked."

Lorelai turned back to Rory. "Five minutes. No more, I'm looking at less. You will return to me in the exact state which I am seeing you in now. I can't judge from Jess, but he better be too." Rory nodded and went through the curtain. "And the door stays open!" Lorelai yelled in a last ditch effort for the upper hand.

"Serious power assertion. Really, I bow down in awe," Luke said jokingly as he wiped off a random area of the counter.

"Hey, I bought us some catching up time, and I can assure you that there will be no impregnating in five minutes. Rory took at _least_ seven minutes to conceive, and that included getting undressed." Luke shrugged it off and looked at her as if she hadn't said something completely bizarre.

"So," Luke said, leaning towards her on his elbows over the counter.

"So, I was thinking. We're still good, right? I mean, I know everything has been really hard on you, but are things still okay?"

"Of course they're okay. I just want to work on that and try to compartmentalize this past week for a time when I have nothing better to do than to analyze it." They smiled at one another and Luke leaned across the counter the rest of the way to catch Lorelai's lips in their very first, very dizzying kiss.

xxx

"Jess?" Rory asked, meanwhile, just entering the apartment.

"Rory?" Jess wondered as he wandered out of his room, finishing his hair, wearing a pair of brown cords and a navy, long sleeved t shirt. He smiled when he saw her in the red sweater and Levi's and they walked toward each other, both surprised.

"What're you doing up here?" he asked as he took hand and then reeled her in close, yet again, hoping for a kiss.

"I came to get the jacket for Rebel, Sweetheart to show to my mom to convince her that she might like the Wallflowers," Rory said, grinning ridiculously.

"Does she need proof that Bob Dylan, while an amazing artist, can produce one of the most sought-after men in rock?" Jess asked mockingly as they got pulled even closer to one another in the pleasantness of the conversation.

"Yes. And I plan to do so and to get her to stop calling you girly band listener."

"Then by all means, we should find that CD," Jess said, meaning nothing of the sort. They stood there for a moment, getting closer with every passing second.

"Wow, we are really scouring the place for that CD. You'd think we were trained sniffer dogs," Rory said abruptly. Their movements halted momentarily and then Jess closed the space entirely. The kiss was brief but powerful and Rory smirked as she and Jess began to sift through the stacks of CD's, looking methodically for it.

"I think it's in my room, hold on," Jess said as he left the room. He returned a few moments later, brandishing the tan CD.

"You found it!" Rory exclaimed as he handed it to her, pleased.

"I forgot that I was listening to it last night. I thought I had Breach in, guess I was wrong." He paused while she examined the CD. "Quick question, favorite song on that album?"

Rory considered. "I Am A Building," she said confidently. "Good beat, very heartfelt, a little political, and I can honestly say it's got the best bridge on the whole album. Overall I'm usually sad that it's only three minutes and forty-seven seconds."

"Huh," Jess said, grinning wildly.

"What?"

"That's interesting is all. I've never heard you rave about a song before."

Rory blushed inwardly. "It's good. What about you, what's your favorite on the album?"

"I have a few. Nearly Beloved has this weird twang to it but it's not bad. I Am A Building has a good bridge and the tune is catchy. I like that Back to California is faster. But my favorite? From the Bottom of My Heart. Really slow, but very poetic. True artistry." Rory smiled slowly and sincerely as she ever had.

"From the Bottom of My Heart?" He blushed faintly and tried to avert his eyes. She held them. "That's by far the most emotional track on the album. Why do you like it so much?"

"It's just honest. There isn't frosting. "Not every tear means you're gonna cry, not every smile means I'm laughing inside," it's applicable," Jess explained quietly. Rory smiled in the silent agreement that their conversation wouldn't leave either of them and she walked toward the door.

"Are you coming downstairs?" she asked, her hand on the doorknob.

"I'll be down in a second." They smiled at one another and she walked down the stairs, with the CD in her hand, feeling even feelings strange to the bottom of her heart.

xxx

"Gross!" Rory squealed when she reached the bottom of the stairs, wielding the CD in one hand and Jess's hand in the other. She quickly shoved Jess back far behind the curtain and damn near up the stairs.

"Rory, what the hell?" Jess asked as he tried to disentangle their hands. She gave him an entirely horrified look and he smirked distractedly.

"They're _making out!_" She hissed quietly at Jess, cringing painfully.

"Ah, geez," Jess said as he turned away from the curtain as if afraid to go too close.

"I don't want to go back out there!" Rory said hysterically. She paused to catch her breath. "Do you think they'll stop?"

"I don't even want to dwell on what you just told me. Count to thirty and then we'll go," he said quietly, obviously revolted. They stood there in uncomfortable silence for about ten seconds before Rory spoke up again.

"Didn't we all discuss the public displays of affection?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't we come to the conclusion as a group that they are bad?"

"Yup."

"So what're they doing?"

"Breaking rules?"

"Exactly! So I say we even the score," Rory said, grinning ear to ear.

"How?" Jess said, liking the plan but not letting on.

"You're not exactly unknown in being handsy. Give them a taste of their own medicine," she said, shrugging but getting a shiver down her spine at the thought.

"Miss Patty would be so proud," Jess said as he reached for the curtain and grabbed her hand, noticing the expiration of their allotted time. They both entered the room with their eyes closed.

"Hands and mouths need to be returned to their rightful owners right about now. And if anything else was exchanged, give it back, kids in the room," Rory said as she stumbled in, her hand over her eyes dramatically.

Lorelai and Luke guiltily gave one another the demanded space and Lorelai sighed and rolled her eyes at the sight of Jess's arm wrapped around Rory's waist, Rory's hand sitting comfortably on Jess's hip, and one hand over each of their faces.

"You can look, nobody's making out anymore, but you two could separate yourselves," Luke said annoyed while he poured Rory a new cup of coffee and slid it to her previous seat. Rory looked pleadingly at Jess and he rolled his eyes and released her to attend to her coffee. Jess went behind the counter and Luke (who at this point was blushing) walked into the kitchen.

"You do a really good job of grossing me out," Rory said, mocking disgust.

"Aw, I'm so glad. Did I have the tongue thing down, could you tell?" Lorelai said, gesturing to her mouth.

"Even grosser. Didn't we discuss no making out in the diner?"

Lorelai hummed in thought for a moment. "Not that I recall."

"Liar."

xxx

"So guess what?" Rory said to Lane, sitting across from her in the closet.

"What?"

"My mom and Luke were making out in the diner this morning," she said, completely dismayed.

"No way! That's cute…but so wrong from your point of view," Lane said, shaking her head.

"I think she's doing it to get back at me and Jess," Rory said contemplative.

"Have you made out with Jess in front of her?" Lane said, a little horror-struck.

"Well, no. But we've kissed a few times in the diner, and there was the canoodling incident…" Rory rambled.

They were silent for a few minutes while Lane chuckled lightly. "How is Jess, by the way? Is he still really distant?"

"Actually, no, things have been really great. He wasn't doing well while we were in Brooklyn, but he was doing much better than I had expected."

"Well that's good. Dave asked me the other day why Luke and Jess hadn't been in the diner for a few days and it occurred to me that I hadn't asked you in a while."

"Ooh, Dave. We haven't talked about him in a while. Spill," Rory said, scooting forward anxiously.

Lane blushed fifty shades of red and a few of purple. "Good. We hung out the other day after band practice. The guys aren't supposed to know that we're 'dating'," Lane said, air-quoting.

"Dating? Really…., good stuff," Rory said, grinning mischievously at her best friend whose blushing was finally starting to tune down to pink.

"Yup. Only a week or two, but it's been good."

"Has he kissed you yet?" Rory said excitedly.

Lane blushed again. "Yeah, the other night he walked me home and kissed me." She paused. "Absolute. Fireworks." They both squealed in delight.

"Fantastic."

"You and Jess?" Lane inquired.

"Entire ecstasy."

**Total fluff, I know, but now the title means something and in the next two chapters it will take on a meaning. I'm not totally sure yet what time frame the last chapter will take place in, but it's looking like the season 3 frame. Who knows, I might be really evil and make it half and half. As I speak, I have just gotten a brilliant idea however. Well, I'll surprise you then! **


	14. The Weight

**A/N-Thanks for reviews yet again! Sorry this has been so confusing. As you know, this is chapter 14, so I'm looking at just one more chapter for this story and then I'm starting a directly consecutive sequel. I'm looking to call it _And I Kind of Like You Driving Me Crazy_, but I'm not sure. Feedback? I could use it for that part. **

**As usual, thanks to just hidden, music4mysoul, mezz, riotgirllina.**

**Spinaround-Sorry, I know this is really confusing. I switch back and forth, but the last chapter was in 2003, when she's still at Chilton and before Thanksgiving. Some chapters do happen in 2004 when she's at Yale, but I totally went out on a limb and made it so that Jess is there with her. So where I'm going with this is that I'm rewriting seasons 3 and 4 for the most part. Sorry to be confusing, the sequels won't be, I promise to try. **

**Someone5-I absolutely LOVE the new Wallflowers album, I went and bought it the day it came out, but I'm a hardcore fan. It's a lot like Breach, not as fast-paced at Red Letter Days in some parts. Thanks for yet another amazing review! And uh-mazing (misspelled on purpose) job on Watercolors of the Past. **

**Kat461-Ahh, and that review as a great Christmas present as well. Much thanks!**

**Brokenheart34-God Says Nothing Back is definitely one of my favorites on there too. But you're right, the whole album is great. Thanks for taking the time to review!**

**Regina Halliwell-Wow, I loved your review. Very Outer Limitsy, I was just about to post this when I got your review. Thanks SO much for the rave, I love it. **

"Oh my God!" Lorelai exclaimed. Rory nodded with her arms crossed across her chest.

"I told you."

"He's _BEAUTIFUL_! _Why_ have you been hiding this man from me?" Lorelai said as she started, wide-eyed at the picture of Jakob Dylan that Rory had handed to her.

"I haven't been hiding him, I've been listening to them for _years_. You can't put me at fault for your ignorance." Rory paused and they stood in awe-ridden silence. "Can you believe that he's Bob Dylan's son?"

Lorelai dropped the sheet of paper. "Please tell me you are joking. There is no way that _Bob Dylan_, while a musical genius and not entirely unattractive, actually, anyone for that matter, besides myself, to have a child _this_ beautiful."

"I like that compliment to both of us thrown in there. And it is possible. His mom was a Playboy Bunny," Rory said, grinning widely. Lorelai put the picture down slightly and nodded in understanding.

"That must be it. They say all the pretty genes come from mommy."

"Again," Rory observed.

"And the witty ones," Lorelai threw in. Rory pretended to be playing the trumpet and Lorelai rolled her eyes. "It's not _just_ tooting my own horn missy, I'm paying you the proper respect by introducing me to this picture. Go to Luke's and tell him that if he can't handle my emotional attachment to this picture then he has to go and find a new girlfriend."

"In less than a minute you have developed an emotional attachment to this picture of Jakob Dylan?"

"That's what I'm saying." Rory opened her mouth to retort when they both heard a knock at the door from where they were both standing in the middle of the living room, both brought to their feet by Rory's gift to her mother. Now, both fully standing and facing the door, gave one another questioning looks.

"Are we expecting anybody?" Rory asked uncertainly.

"I don't know?" There was another knock.

"It's probably someone who lives nearby."

"Why are we so panicky? It's just the door."

"It's not the door, it's who's behind it," Rory said, just as they heard the door open and watched Lane walk in.

"Geez, you two aren't very perceptive today. Who else comes to your house in the middle of the day? And since when don't you answer the door?" Lane rambled dismissively while she took off her jacket and shoes.

"How am I supposed to know? We've had weirder things happen," Rory said as she sat on the couch.

"But why did you not answer the door?"

"Laziness," Lorelai said, she and Lane sitting both on the couch at the same time. They all sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Lane spoke again.

"Zack and Brian found out about Dave and I."

"There's a new development," Lorelai said, looking over, eyes wide.

"We had to find Brian's inhaler. You can't give that kid news. Ever."

"Are you really going out now?" Lorelai inquired. Lane grinned largely.

"Yup."

"See, all that harassing paid off."

xxx

Jess sat on his bed, quietly reciting in his head all the reasons he wasn't out and about. Since they had gotten back from Brooklyn, he took breaks during the day to reorganize himself. Even on days that he spent time with Rory it was hard for him to be emotionally stable. He didn't want to shoulder his pains onto her. Her problems could be transferred and he would take them like blessed burdens and kiss them as he tucked them under his arms, the weight feeling deliciously much. His burdens were dirty, used, too much for even the rightful bearer. She didn't have the grit to secure the strength to shoulder his evils. Only he could hold them and handle them absentmindedly, sometimes forgetting the weight.

His bed sagged comfortably under his shifting weight and a fleeting image of Rory passed through his brain. The weights became weights again and not emotional struggles. They would be trained with and accustomed to in the future. The tears became smiles and the sad little shakes that he made in his sobbing became kisses under the stars, on the bridge, under God, atop Satan, in entirely lavish limbo.

Sad, minute song lyrics meant touches and cigarettes meant sharing and everything in his world reorganized when he spent his ten minutes alone. And the fleeting image of Rory set it off.

Sometimes the picture changed. Sometimes it was the moment he saw her in her room the first night that he spent in Stars Hollow. Sometimes it was little stolen glances in the diner with a coffee cup in her hand and a book in the other. Sometimes it was her walking out of the hotel room in Brooklyn in her concert t shirt and boy shorts. Sometimes it was the look on her face when he caught her eyes at the hospital. Usually though, it was the look on her face when Jess would place his hand on her hip and kiss her, gently pushing them closer. The look of total trust, want, maybe a hint of admiration, and happiness.

His minutes were without music and nicotine unlike many other stolen moments and he usually laid on his bed and contemplated. At seventeen years old, Jess had taken his baggage with him many places. Some, he vowed never to return to. Others, he had done the same to and returned anyway. Sometimes Jess left his baggage with pieces of him that he left in those places. He might come back to get it one day, but that was only if nobody stumbled across it and found in endearing.

He wasn't going to get back the baggage adorned piece of him that Rory found. Rory found the piece and walked around it for a while, quietly assessing it when eyes weren't prodding her. Sometimes reaching out to touch but probably knowing better than to get burned. Other times she walked by, her hand gripping something more tightly, her soul holding a little more steadfast to a different conviction. But she never moved the piece of Jess that she wrapped her soul around even though she needed the space. She left it, lying in the middle, ignored perhaps but not forgotten.

Then one day somebody rocked her boat. And the steadfast pieces fell and broke into hundreds of pieces. They scattered into the recesses of her soul, a little too cumbersome to retrieve. Eventually, they would become annoying and tread upon accidentally, maybe brought together and maybe broken more. But for the most part, they were forgotten and she came upon that little shred of Jess again.

She picked up the baggage and threw it in her back pocket, maybe like a lucky penny, she would get some small, superficial, superstitious good fortune from the fact that his life had been hard. And before either of them knew what the other was doing, they were there, before one another, without the luxury of baggage or frosting and the only thing that existed between them to block the discomfort was chemistry.

Jess rolled over onto his back and sighed, sitting up suddenly and pacing across the floor in front of his bed. He needed to put things back in their places, remember to forget about all of his demons. He turned on the music during one of his passes and the music started to shove things back into their respective areas of his subconscious.

"Jess?" he heard Luke call up the stairs. Jess sighed one last time, turned off the music, and exited the apartment.

"Same time tomorrow?" he asked the room rhetorically as he exited backwards. He waited a minute and nodded, going back to the real world and the weights became emotional struggles once more.

xxx

Lorelai walked into the diner that evening, her purse in tow, swinging her hips upon entering, walking slowly to the counter where Luke was at work. He caught a glimpse of her as she walked through the door and his eyes caught hers as she grinned playfully and sat at the counter before him. They did a quick check of the diner to make sure that Rory and Jess weren't lurking in disgust and leaned across the counter to one another to exchange a quick kiss.

"You're in a good mood," Luke commented as he reached under the counter and retrieved a mug.

"That I am," Lorelai said, still grinning while she sat. There was a short pause while Luke glanced up at her and filled the mug before her with coffee.

"Care to elaborate as to why?"

"I met the love of my life today," she sighed. Lorelai closed her eyes and drew on her coffee.

"Come again?" Luke said, squinting his eyes curiously in her direction.

"Well, remember that girly band that I was making fun of Jess for listening to this morning?"

"Vaguely. I think you went into hysterics and I started to ignore you after that. Not to mention the entire conversation. I already had an indistinct discussion with Jess about his completely bizarre musical tastes and I came to the conclusion that I have no idea how he distinguishes good music from noise."

Lorelai blinked twice at him. "Moving on." Luke smiled at her in submission and she continued. "Rory printed me out a picture of the lead singer from the band website." Lorelai grinned so big that her ears almost wrapped around her head. "It's unnatural how gorgeous that man is."

Luke grimaced. "You can't be serious."

"I wish I was kidding. I tried to get Rory to come down here and tell you that if you couldn't handle my newfound obsession that you would have to find a new girlfriend, but she blatantly refused."

"Gee, I wonder why." Luke started to walk away down the counter.

"You'd better watch out, a new album means a new tour and you know how I am about rock stars!" Lorelai called in a desperate effort to call attention to herself. Luke rolled his eyes at her persistence and returned to work, filling coffee mugs around the diner systematically.

Lorelai took a second to watch the way Luke moved, his work ethic shown stonily through his efforts to please but keep unbiased and unwaveringly disciplined. At the same time, Lorelai was well aware that beneath the organized film that Luke so readily portrayed as reality, that he was unique, a creative artistic soul without question. Years of imaginatively dancing around the topic of her had proved this point, bar none.

Sometimes Luke would stop a moment or two to gape at someone's idiocy or to smile at an old person and then regret the gesture a few steps later. She would catch him without question looking up at the curtain to the apartment, wondering when and if Jess was going to come down and get to work. Once she swore she almost saw him open his mouth to yell, but for lack of better term, he held off until the matter became pressing.

"Like what you see or did you get a freak attack of hysterical blindness and aren't aware that you're staring at my uncle's ass?" she heard Jess whisper. Lorelai jumped slightly at the newfound company and turned to see him, smiling like a satisfied cat with his forearms resting on the counter.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I can see just fine. And your uncle happens to be my boyfriend. Staring at his ass, _if_ I was doing so, is a right that I think I can reserve."

"Duly noted. But the question was only half answered."

"No it wasn't, I said none of your business," Lorelai said, shaking her head at him like he was a total moron.

"Actually," Jess started, leaning in for confidentialities' sake, "you said that it wasn't any of my business that you could see fine. You said if you were staring at his ass, that you reserve the right to begin with."

"Someone's been hitting the good memory juice lately," Lorelai commented acquiescently as she sipped her coffee, another movement of defeat.

"Ten minutes alone will do a lot for someone's mental state."

"You seriously spend your breaks upstairs by yourself?" Lorelai paused while the thought processed. "That's actually way more disgusting than spending it with my daughter, sorry about that."

"Mind in the gutter much?" Jess asked, taken aback slightly.

"More than you know." Lorelai looked at Jess as he shook off her comment and checked behind him for orders. "What do you do on your break? I thought you just sat in the square and smoked and read and occasionally took passerby hostage."

"The only passerby that I took hostage was your daughter, and it was a mutual decision, therefore, there weren't any activities to suggest that I was taking a hostage."

"First of all, ew. Secondly, you avoided the question, and I know it." Jess looked at her, trying to come up with a decent argument and coming up short.

"I like to go upstairs and listen to music. Catch up on my crocheting, maybe catch the last few minutes of Martha Stewart, bake a power-pie and come back down in time to serve the lovely people of Stars Hollow."

"No need to be brazen with me. I'm officially letting you into mine and my daughter's very vulnerable lives without kicking and screaming hardly at all." She paused with a lack of anything else apparent to say and cut to the chase. "I really am sorry about your mom. If it's any consolation, I think you're holding up amazingly. Really kid, it's incredible."

Jess looked at Lorelai with a mix of utter confusion and the brink of mocking. He thought better of it as the straight look on her face and her demeanor maintained and he squirmed under the pressure of proper response.

"Thanks." Lorelai smiled at him empathetically and Jess looked over her shoulder while Rory walked in. He acknowledged her presence quickly and scanned the diner for Luke.

"Kirk, you can't seriously want the meat on the side of the burger. That entirely defeats the purpose of the meal!" Luke said, frustrated at Kirk who was arguing fantastically.

"Luke, I'm going. Make it up later, I'll polish the silver or hock it or something," Jess said as he saw his way out and grabbed his jacket, rushing he and Rory out the door before Luke could rightfully protest.

"In a hurry?" Rory said as Jess dragged her around the corner away from seeing eyes and pressed her to the building, kissing her within an inch of sanity.

"'I'm not drunk, and I'm not sad, there's nothing inside that I want back,'" Jess quoted, eagerly directing Rory to her line.

"'Let me touch your lips, let me see where you're at," Rory whispered throatily as she snaked up a hand and touched his bottom lip affectionately.

"'Do you wonder how I am tonight?'" he prodded further.

"'Then don't lose time looking in my eyes'," Rory said, a tear forming gently as she wrapped her arms around his neck. This was Jess's way of saying he loved her. And she was dying just to hear him recite every beautiful word.

"'Not every tear means you're gonna cry'," Jess said as he wiped her eye and kissed her again, Rory smiling like a fool the entire time.

**That little ditty was a part of _From the Bottom of My Heart_, by the Wallflowers. I plan on using more lyrics for the next part. It was a little cheesy, but it's 1:20 a.m.** **where I'm from, and cheesy sometimes is all you can manage. The brilliance train stops running at about 11. **

**Hit the magical button!**


	15. Through a Whisper

**A/N-Sorry about the late update. My internet got all screwed around with and I was out for count it, TEN days. They had to re-route everything and it took for-freaking-ever. **

**Obviously, this is the final chapter of _From the Bottom of My Heart_, but the sequel will be coming shortly. The title at this point is still unknown to me. I was going to title it _And I Kind of Like You Driving Me Crazy. _But it's unreasonably obscure. Maybe _Swear to Shake it Up if You Swear to Listen _or _Take a Message_, it's this Remy Shand song that I absolutely love. Maybe _Take Off Your Cool_.**

**Someone5-As usual, your review made me jump up and down and do a happy dance. Thank you for always giving me fantabulous reviews. I'm also super glad that you didn't find the end cliché or cheesy. Happy New Year!**

**Spinaround-The last chapter was Season 3. They're both still in Stars Hollow but I currently have no plans for a Venice** **Beach** **scenario. They are both at Yale in the Season Four chapters. Sorry, I know this is really confusing, it confuses me more than you know. Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much for reviewing!**

**Sanfrangiantsfan-I like the title too. There is a story behind it, but I'm not totally sure if I'm using it. It's from the song _One Plus None_ by Riviera, this really cool Chicago** **underground rock band. Check it out if you get time! Thanks for taking the time. **

**Mcrules4191, AvidTVfan, Regina Halliwell, mezz, britbrat, just-hidden**

**LexyLovinMilo-LOL! That was adorable and made me absolutely laugh out loud! I love reviews like that. Please, keep them coming!**

**Jade-Tessier-Thank you a million (or 14 times) for reviewing every single chapter. That means so much to me, that you took the time to actually read everything through and comment on it. To thank you x 14 :-D. **

**Amanda-So glad you enjoyed it! It's not too long, I hope I didn't waste your time! I'm thinking this chapter will be mixture of Yale and Stars Hollow. Just for fun ;).**

**Kat461-I love you too, Kat. Grins. Ready for the new story? **

**So, I guess here it is, the conclusion to _From the Bottom of My Heart I _(and I don't own a thing).**

"Rory?" Dave Rygalski asked Rory as she sat at the counter across from Jess, smiling as they exchanged flirtatious banter that bordered on inappropriate.

She quickly attempted to uncouple herself from Jess but failed terribly when he took her hand to keep her attention subconsciously. Hoping that the interruptions from Jess would halt momentarily, Rory turned to see Dave grinning at her brightly.

"Dave!" Rory said excitably, smiling greatly at him. Dave grinned politely in response and took a seat next to her at the counter.

"Haven't seen you in a while, I was in the area after band practice and thought I'd stop in and see if you were here." He flicked his eyes to Jess swiftly and gave him a polite but almost unnoticeable smirk. "Hey Jess."

"Dave," Jess said pleasantly. Rory instantly beamed at Jess's impromptu agreeable nature.

"What've you two been up to?" Dave asked.

"Not much of anything," Rory started, but rethought the ending of the statement from the look in Jess's eyes. "That we discuss over coffee anyway. Believe me, you don't need to know," Rory said, squirming verbally in discomfort. Jess did that to her. He challenged her to be honest and he loved to watch her want to acclimate but unable to do so.

Dave nodded, amused. "I think I understand."

"What Rory means to say-," Jess started, but Rory quickly gave him an edge of the withering stare and put a hand over his mouth.

"What've you been up to?" she inquired.

"Band practice mostly. School here and again."

"I hear you. I also heard that you and Lane are officially 'involved'," Rory said.

"You heard right."

"So," Rory said, "how's that going?"

"Really, really great. Lane's a great girl."

"I assume that means things are good," Rory said, still not removing her hand from Jess's mouth, especially since he had taken it upon himself to kiss the inside of her hand gently while she tried to maintain a conversation without combusting under Jess's demanding touch.

Dave laughed lightly. "They are. Looks like things are good with you two as well," he said as he watched Jess kiss her hand and Rory flush an increasingly deeper shade of red every time Jess made a move.

"They're not bad," Rory said, removing her hand and giving Jess a warning look. He just smirked at her and refilled her coffee, walking away to actually attend to the other customers.

"Don't see how they could be."

"You'd be surprised. I guess Lane told you about Brooklyn," Rory said illicitly.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I'm hesitant however to bring it up with Jess. I don't know him that well, I would feel stupid prying into his personal life." Dave paused while Rory gave him a reassuring smile. "He seems like he's doing well."

"He really is," Rory said, following him covertly with her eyes as he made his rounds. "I'm proud of him. It was really hard for a few days there, but he seems to be doing really well now."

"The storm is over," Dave stated.

"Let's hope it's not just the calm thereof. I really don't see how things could get worse from here though. When we were there, it was miserable. He was so distant. We had just gotten back from our second date when he found out. He was so devastated, I was in hysterics. I thought for sure I was going to be a victim of circumstance and lose him before I had a chance to appreciate him. While it was sad, it shed some much needed light on the fact that I don't savor victories or pick battles. It's been a busy week," Rory finished quietly. Dave smiled supportively.

"That's good. I'm glad to see you also doing well. Under these circumstances, like, if I had been in Jess's position, I don't know what I would've done." Rory smiled at him and Dave stood. "Well, I'm going to go, Lane and I are going to go over a few songs and maybe catch a movie or go eat or something, so I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. I plan on being around here more often now. Be sure to stop by band practice, we miss you," Dave said, his hand on her shoulder.

"I'll be sure to do that."

"Take care," he said, turning to leave. "See you around, Jess," Dave said, waving.

"Later," Jess said.

"That was an extensive comment," Rory chastised jokingly. "I didn't realize that you could smile _and_ say goodbye to someone at the same time."

"First I hear you raving about me and then you start reprimanding me for using one word responses. We're going to have to talk about this," Jess said, standing over her.

"Wow, two whole sentences. I almost forgot what your voice sounded like," Rory teased.

"Cork it," Jess said as he walked behind the counter, grabbed an order, and delivered it.

xxx

_Yale_ _University, October 22nd, 2004. New Haven, Connecticut. _

Jess and Rory were walking up the stairs to Jess's dorm room, hand in hand, Jess feeling for once in the day, the dread leaving him entirely. He had two days until he had to really be afraid for his sanity.

They stood before the door, both mentally weighing the merits of entering together or Rory going back to her dorm room.

"You know," Jess said, putting his index finger in the front pocket of Rory's khakis and pulling her to him casually, "it is a Friday night. And you and I both don't have weekend classes…."

"May I heedlessly ask where you are going with this?" Rory said humorously.

"I don't need directions to get to a point, keep your pants on." Jess paused as Rory looked down at his hand which was now almost all the way into the pocket. "At least while we're out in the hallway." He paused again while Rory primed herself to retort. "You're going to say 'dirty', aren't you?"

"I can't make guarantees, especially since you so slyly stole my line."

"Sorry about that one. I'll be quiet for a second if you want to say it," Jess apologized and offered.

"Nah, the moment passed."

"It happens." They looked at one another for a passionate eternity and then Jess put his other hand in the other pocket and Rory grinned.

"You don't need words to get a point either apparently," Rory said.

"Actions speak louder than words."

"Then you must be _screaming_," Rory said, good-naturedly.

"I do like to get what I want."

"What is that exactly?" Jess looked down at their closeness and then back up at Rory as if he could speak with his eyes. He normally could speak with his eyes. But for sake of argument, Rory wouldn't listen with her eyes in return.

Jess gave in with a surreptitious eye roll. "Do you want to come in?"

Rory beamed. "I'd love to."

xxx

_Meanwhile, in Stars Hollow…_

"'Lo?" Lorelai asked as she answered the phone, Luke kissing the back of her neck calmly.

"Lorelai?" Lane asked quietly.

"Lane? What's going on, are you okay?" she asked as she shooed Luke away so that she could remain composed.

"No, I'm fine. I was just seeing if you had heard from Rory yet today," she asked carelessly.

"Uh, no I haven't yet. It's Friday, she won't be here until Monday with Jess. She said she was going to stay at school this weekend. Why, what's up?"

"Well, seeing as she is my maid of honor and my wedding is in three months, I wanted to pow-wow with her and go over some of the predetermined plans."

"She hasn't called you yet?"

"No, but she told me she'd be MIA for a few days here, what with Jess and his mom thing coming up," Lane said nonchalantly.

"Well, just call her, I'm sure she's not up to much. And if she's doing something dirty, she won't answer the phone."

"That's true."

"Anything else you needed?" Lorelai finished.

"Well, actually, yeah. Since we're both getting married, I wanted to know your viewpoint on this."

"Shoot."

"Veil or tiara?" she asked as Dave walked into the kitchen. Lane was sitting at the kitchen table, almost buried beneath the numerous books, magazines and binders containing the necessary information and planning lists and she and Rory had relentlessly compiled.

Lorelai looked taken aback. "I thought you were having a traditional, Korean wedding."

"Lane, didn't your mom decide for us that we were having a traditional, Korean wedding?" Dave asked almost simultaneously with Lorelai.

"That was creepy," Lane said to both of them. They both pretended not to notice why and Lorelai prodded her.

"So…?"

"Well, my mom _wants_ me to have a traditional Korean wedding, but I'm taking a few creative licenses. So, veil or tiara?"

"Creative licenses? Lane, if you disobey your mother and screw around with a traditional Korean wedding until it's only half traditional, also known as unconventional, it'll be like mooning your heritage. And your mother."

"I didn't think about it that way. Basically you're saying it's all the way or no way, right?"

"That's what I'm saying."

"Mooning the Korean heritage may be bloody," Lane speculated.

"When did this conversation turn into dropping pants?" Dave asked as he drank from the orange juice carton sneakily.

"Is that Dave in the background?" Lorelai wondered.

"Considering that he's my live-in fiancé at our apartment where only the two of us live, I'd say there's a good chance that it's Dave."

"Tell him I say hi," Lorelai smiled.

"I'll do that. So, just so I can write this down and won't forget it in ten seconds or less, we decided that we have to go totally Korean or throw caution and my physical health to the wind and wing it?"

"That was the consensus, I believe so."

"Thanks, you're such a big help. How's the prototype bridesmaid dress coming?"

"Beautiful. I showed Luke a little while ago and he loved it. You can come by in the morning and we can critique it and then stuff ourselves at the diner."

"Deal. Bye."

"Bye Lane." Lorelai hung up the phone and replaced it in the charger, turning to see Luke who was leaning against a wall, simpering.

"What?" Lorelai said.

"Nothing. I just think it's funny that _our_ wedding is in nine months and theirs is in three," Luke said, as if it made total sense.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lorelai said, searching for the point.

"Well, she's Rory's age."

"Again, the point is?"

"Lane's going to be married before us!" Luke said frantically, finally fed up with Lorelai's cluelessness.

"Luke, baby?" Lorelai asked.

"What?" he said, defeated.

"We only have to start worrying if we find out that Taylor or Kirk are getting married before us. They'd have to elope and while that would be bad and sneak up on us, what do you think the chances of that are?" she asked delicately.

"Bad. But I swear, if that happens, we're getting married ten minutes later," Luke said, his passion on the topic reigniting.

"It'll be okay," Lorelai said, grabbing his hand reassuringly. They stood for a moment and Luke smiled in compliance.

"Where was I before the phone rang…? Oh, yeah," he said, bending down and gently kissing Lorelai's neck.

Lorelai laughed submissively.

xxx

_October 30th, 2003. Stars Hollow, Connecticut._

Jess and Rory were sitting on the couch upstairs, while Luke and Lorelai were downstairs, exchanging coy repartee. They sat there, happily together.

"Jess?" Rory asked between laughter and wit.

"Ma'am?" She glared at him flippantly.

"I need to know something," she started, looking down at her hands. Jess frowned slightly at her shy manner and took his index finger under her chin, raising her face to his so he could drown in the sea that sat in her eyes.

"Okay."

"Are you going to stay here?" she asked finally, after moments of painfully searching for the words.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't even know. Just don't leave me. I'm going to be going to school in a year someplace else, and so much can happen in a few months. Just promise me that you will stay here, even if it's only for me."

Jess paused and assessed the question mindlessly. He wouldn't leave for the world. "I promise." Rory blinked in mild surprise. He saw her response and grinned, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her head. "I would never leave you here alone."

xxx

_October 23rd, 2004. Yale_ _University, New Haven, Connecticut._

"I love you," Rory said to Jess as they lay between his cotton sheets, facing one another adoringly.

"I love you too," he said. She grinned.

"Will we always be together?" She smiled at his nod and he sighed and closed his eyes, speaking to everyone at once. His mother, Luke, Rory, Lorelai. And heaven help him, to his father.

"Thank you." And Rory saw another loving smile.

_From the bottom of my heart_

_A ballad is sung_

_Through a whisper she comes_

_To the rays of the sun._

**The end.**


End file.
